Friday, September 14, 2007

I love my daughter, you know I do...but she's gonna be the death of me......


Have you ever had a day like this one?

So, today is payday. I have to pay the bills. Especially the ones that are due Monday. With online bill-pay, there is a
one-business day wait to get the bill paid, sometimes more.

So, I sit down w/ the pile of bills, my computer and the checkbook to get the job done. My princess is next to me and wants to draw. I give her some scratch paper and she draws contentedly on it. As time passes, I look at her and instead of drawing on her paper, she's drawn her version of "smiley face"
on the middle of my bill book.........
Although, I'm happy she's a genius and can draw a smiley face at just over 2 1/2 years old. I'm still a little upset with her, but not mad. No biggie. I take her pen and tell her to go watch tv with brother while momma finishes the bills.....

(crucial mistake on mommy's part, assuming 2 1/2 year old will watch tv with brother and not get bored and not get into trouble........
I even checked on her and she was watching the show....but alas, she had already colored all over herself, I just couldn't see it because she had her back to me......)

The next thing I know, it's awfully quiet in my house........
this is NEVER A GOOD SIGN!!!!

I go to check on her and find her....covered from head to toe in a mess of hot pink, dark green, pink, red, purple and peanut butter.
Yes, I did say peanut butter.

And she had a poopy diaper to top it all off with.

I immediately put her in the bathtub. Honestly, at this point, I am so used to her doing this kind of thing I almost found it to be humorous and I am sure I would have, if she hadn't had the peanut butter. (this girl will color on the wall, her bed, the floor,
the furniture, pretty much wherever she can....any time she gets a marker or pen or pencil or crayon she knows she's not supposed to have!!! The boys would do this, but after once doing it and being disciplined, they pretty much didn't do it. But Marinne, no Marinne just keeps on going.......)

When I found her with the peanut butter, I was very upset. Good luck getting that grease out of the carpet!
(and I'm sure you are asking how she got the peanut butter, well...her brothers had eaten it on toast for breakfast and left it out when they went to school. And somehow, I had not noticed it. Don't ask me how I didn't. And they left the lid off with a
butter knife in it.)

Immediately after the bath, I fed M and G lunch. And Big Daddy came home to eat lunch. He say Marinne's stained belly and said, "Well, I see she's been busy today!"

Well, the more I thought about it....the only marker she had was red.....and now we have all these "unaccounted for" colors on her body.

And all of a sudden it hit me.......MY SCRAPBOOK DESK!!!!

OH, CRAP!!!!!

So, I ran downstairs and found the BIGGEST MESS!!

Big daddy came downstairs when I screamed. I was so furious and upset and furious and upset!!! I know she's only 2 and I know I wasn't watching her as closely as I should have....but she KNOWS she is not allowed to be in my scrapbook area. She knows she's not allowed!

I literally laid on the couch downstairs and sobbed.

Sobbed for the mistake I had made.

Sobbed for not watching better.

Thankful she didn't get hurt.

Sobbed for the products I love, now ruined.

Sobbed for the things I love, wasted.

Sobbed for all my hard work, destroyed.

Sobbed for the HUGE mess to clean up.

Sobbed for a reallllllly bad day.

Big Daddy really tried to comfort me. He was very sweet.
Then, he started cleaning up for me.
(therefore, I didn't get a good picture of some of the mess....)


So, here's the best I can piece together what she did.....

#1- TRASHED this brand new Stampin' Up! stamp.

(so very.......devastating!!!)

#2 - RUINED my beloved Color Box cat's eye chalk ink.

Hunter green shown here.....this is the ink that was ALL OVER her body!!!!! Apparently, when she pulled it apart....she just got it EVERYWHERE!!!!!

.....I later found Warm Red and Pink, ruined as well!!

As bad as that is, that was not the worst part....

The worst part is #3- She RUINED
the 3 1/2 hours of work, I had done on this custom altered frame for a client. I was only lacking a ribbon, a stamped word and gluing some pearls on it. It was seriously almost done, now completely ruined....

The entire thing would need to be completely re-done, including being repainted to cover the pink and green fingerprints all over
it!!! Argh!!! (It took 5 coats to cover it!)

Along the way, she found this
scrapbooking marker that belongs to Logan. (Thank goodness, because Logan's marker is water-based, if it had been mine, it would be archival.)

After finding it, she colored on the ceramic tile, the grout,
the carpet and eventually, all over her self, including both hands!!!!!

How do I know this, you ask?!

Because I found THESE
hot pink handprints all the way up the stairs!!!!

Each stair had at least one, sometimes 2 handprints on each stair. That's 12 stairs x 1 or 2 hand prints = 15 hand prints!!

(It took me an 1 1/2 hours on my hands and knees, scrubbing these little hand prints off each and every stair!)

Big Daddy pointed out to me that it looked kinda artsy, with all the pink handprints everywhere. Kinda like a hot pink Monkey
went nuts in our house. (well, someone was going nuts...and I think it was ME!!!!)

Here are the pics from the Purple embossing powder mess.... scrapbook table w/ all the purple powder that was stuck into adhesive residue and wouldn't vacuum up.

My kick booty Dyson, which my darling hubby used to suck up my BRAND NEW jar of embossing powder that was everywhere!

Super THANKFUL to have this Dyson!!

Check out what it sucked up off the table, my chair and the carpet!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, she eventually made her way upstairs....leaving the HOT PINK MONKEY HAND PRINTS behind.......and went to the kitchen......

found this!

<------See the green
ink on the counter!!!

She took this peanut butter and the knife and went to this Princess chair.....
(see the peanut butter and ink stains!)

....and she began to smear peanut butter down her legs and on her feet.

What in the world would possess a child to do this!?!?!?!

Here is where the peanut butter go into the still has a stained look to me
......but we won't be replacing it.
This carpet is ONLY 7 MONTHS OLD!!!!!

And while I did clean up, I had put Marinne to bed for her nap. She knew she was in trouble....and she cried herself to sleep.
That's why she's all sweaty!

Then, when I went back upstairs when I was finished I found these Diet Coke's from our lunch. One was mine, one was Big Daddy's. Both were full.

It probably sounds dumb, but these Diet Coke's reminded me....I am not alone. Although, I do spend a lot of time alone (meaning without adult interaction.) But, I am not alone. I need to always remember that I am lucky to have a partner by my side. Trying to comfort me. {hugs} Trying to cheer me up. {pink monkey} Helping me pick up the pieces. {read: vacuuming up a million tiny pieces of powder} But most of all, being sensitive to what happened and not lecturing me for not watching her more closely. I am lucky.


3 cat's eye chalk inks $5.97

1 jar of Ranger eggplant embossing powder $4.99

1 frame, 3 papers, lots of ribbons, paint, adhesive $10.65

Stampin' Up! Stamp set $15.00

Cleaners for carpet, table $7.99

Entire box of Baby Wipes to get ink off stairs $4.97

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser $2.99

Previously purchased Dyson Vacuum $499.00

This entire experience........PRICELESS!


Trish said...

There is a saying that goes like this.... Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. Well honey, trouble is at your front door! I would have killed Joel if he did this. Did you get a picture of her before you cleaned her up? My heart is with you. 2yr olds are fast.

Anonymous said...

I'd beat her....yep...beat her...a lot...and then lock her in a closet somewhere until she's thirty! (me? Extreme? Noooooo...)
hee hee

FlipFlop Mom said...

OH NO.. OH NO.. OH NO.. but believe me you.. I have a child that did that.. and I'm talking in SECONDS.. so I belive you 100% when you say she did that in 10 minutes.. Poor mama.. and I'm sorry for your loss.. :(

Niki said...

WOW. Please don't think I am ever laughing at you and your pain right now - but the way you captured this memory - it was just so shockingly funny. I sometimes have to laugh through my anger when the kids do something so destructive - I think to myself - I wonder what he/she looked like when he/she was running through the house causing all this mess? For some reason, the thought of that just makes me crack up. That is, of course, a good few hours after we've cleaned up the disaster zone.

the real ~Roxann~ said...

Hi Trish, Jamie and FFM! Yep, it sucked! But, now I think it's funny

Thanks for the comment, Niki....and it's ok if you laugh! That's why I had to post it!

And for the record, aside from being put in bed for a nap and a stern "no no" from both me and her dad.... the pink monkey got off pretty easy!


amy h. said...

I am so sorry, Rox, I really am, but I have snort-laughed so hard I cried the entire time I read this. I too have a pink monkey but she's never done anything like THIS (knock wood....)

GOD she's gorgeous, too. Y'all do make beautiful babies.

....even if they're covered in ink and peanut butter (the peanut butter was my favorite part).

the real ~Roxann~ said...

Hey Amy!

Snort-laugh till you cry away!!

I truly believe that's why God allows me to experience what I do in my share it with others!!!

(My mom always said I should write a book about my life because people would never believe all the insane things that happen to me!!!! AND I THINK SHE'S RIGHT!!!!!)

M is Beautiful! But so are you're babies....which reminds me, I think I'm due some RECENT pics of them!!!


Anonymous said...

Hi Roxann. I just wanted to say that I found your blog by accident last week and I have laughed so har. First the tampon story and now this one. I have a 3 yr old and know just what you are going through. lol :::Going right now to lock up all ink pads and embossing powder::: lol

the real ~Roxann~ said...

to my new friend, anonymous!

Welcome!!! So glad you found and have been enjoying my blog!!!

Thanks for your note! Hope to hear from you again, soon!!!!

Roxann :-)

(ps....if you go back in my archives, you will find more hysterical stories!!!)

Stacy Armstrong said...

OMG!!.....How did I miss this?? Poor Roxio!! You know..I have 2 just like this!! he he he he!!! I feel your pain....Been there too many times!! Good thing you have Big Daddy. And it can happen in just seconds. C loves scissors... He's cut everything... the curtains, bed sheets, hair, pictures and even the trampoline.....Oh goodness I feel so bad for you!!

You can't punish that sweet Angel baby for being a creative artist. You might set her little ego back. If you had provided her with an opportunity to express her inner creative child, she woulnd't have messed with your scrapbook supplies. Now you should sit her down and reason with her (SMACK) ROLFLMBO! Baw ha ha ha!!!
....Or you could quickly make her understand and get it over with. Just Pop them thighs a few times girl!!

KTluvs2Craft said...

Hi Roxann. I am anonymous from yesterday. Didn't have time to figure out my google password and wanted to make sure I left a comment. :::Waving::: I will be back. You have such a great sense of humor and I have totally enjoyed your writing. Keep up the great work!!!

Kerry said...

Omg, I am laughing so hard, but I know it's not funny, lol.
I'm so sorry, lol.
ps - she is adorable lol.

Tam said...

well I have had a wild blue monkey here....yep blue all over my new homes walls. I asked who did it..H replies he and P did it. So I started looking to figure out which is the 2 year olds and which is the 3 years olds. Hmm all in my living room, my bedroom walls and my bathroom...where was I...I was in one other bathroom have a private moment thinking they were watching some kid crack show but instead they were making my walls blue...yes blue pencil from some happy meal toys. I was saving the toys to regive at halloween and H opened them up. So I have two blue monkeys in my house...did i mention they wrote on the stairs lol lol

Lou said...

On the up side- she did all of her allotted destroying for her toddler years in one fell swoop, rather than spreading it out.


I'm sorry.

The funny thing is- my kids have done all of these things. One dumped out $40 worth of embossing powders once, and I told you about the LO she shredded the other day! Still miffed about that one!

try a mr clean magic eraser on the grout.

Those little buggers move FAST.

Mireille said...

oh my goodness... I am sorry but I laughed só hard cuz of this post..
having a 3 yo daughter .. it kinda sounds familiar..
There used to be a call for moments like these
"Dont get mad... take pictures

Grandmom said...

I remember those days. I have 3 daughters, 2 are a set of twins and what one didn't think of the other did! Hang in there!

Cindy Roland said...

Adorable Rox, I am so glad that you recorded it all. This will be just a fleeting moment in a lifetime of memories. They grow up far too fast. What a precious baby!

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