Yep, I suck....

Every single day I think......I'm gonna update my blog.
And every single day....I don't get to it!

And today is really just the same......
...I am just too stinkin' busy.

I've been working like a crazy person.
I'm getting ready to leave on a trip in one more day.
The kids get out of school next week, so we are trying to wrap up the year.

I'm exhausted.

I'll try to post something fun and exciting soon!

Feel free to leave me a comment and tell me how much I suck!

IF I EVER......

IF I EVER.....

....mention a plan to have a sleepover with SEVEN 3rd grade boys........

....please remind me of the INSANE birthday party of Oct. 2007.

***also remind me to up the alcohol budget for said party to go from $0 to about $100 for Ike and I.

Enough said.

So, what's worse?

Feeling like your crazy or actually being crazy?


Now, forgive me, I don't mean to make fun of being crazy, but since I am being treated for mental stuff, I think I have a right to joke, in order to deal with things.

I know being crazy isn't funny...it's actually can be very sad. Trust me, I deal with these issues and try to figure out where I fall into this very wide category. (my therapist assures me I am not as crazy as I sometime feel....I'm just my own worst critic and my inner judge is really harsh....see, I am a meanie...to myself!)


Anyways, so my quest today is to get an appointment with a Psychiatrist. (this is a doctor, who manages meds and can evaluate mental capabilities and issues) So, basically, this doctor will make sure that some anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and depression are my only issues....and I need to know.


To be honest, this scares the crap out of me. What if he determines I am nuts. What if he gives me some diagnosis that I don't want to carry. (sorry, but some diagnoses carry some pretty bad stigmas.) And, believe me, I have enough on my plate now! But, I will, as always, deal with whatever info I am given.


As I have said before, I just want off the roller coaster!
(and sometimes medical management is necessary for this to happen...I guess we'll see what happens...)



But, today I was reminded I live in a small town. (Yes, my town is bigger than Richmond Hill but smaller than Savannah.) So, anyway, there are 11 Psychiatrists listed on my insurance, but that list was quickly whittled down to 3. The first has closed her office. The second only practices every Saturday and two Thursdays a month....read, I can't get an appt. w/ him until August 18th. The third is a Christian therapist, which I am not opposed to, but I'm a little scared that I might accidentaly drop the "F-bomb" or some version of it in front of her, as I have a tendency to do when I talk about that fu@*er that raped me.
(I just call it like I see it!)

But, I can handle it fine. I'm trying to quit cussing anyway and I am really good at censoring myself around children and my brother and parents.

So, if I break out in a #*$PICKLES*#% will this one be able to handle my CRAZY?


After all, I am just trying to protect her from me. Is it crazy that I feel the need to do that?


So, whose the crazy one now?