Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! (albeit, a few hours early)
This is the hilarious story of my experience of St. Patrick's Day in Savannah, GA last year. I know some of you have already heard it, but it's so funny, this story bears repeating! So, in honor of the celebration kickin' up on River Street, here it goes...
In Savannah, the week of St. Pat's is a big deal. The whole entire city practically shuts down, except places that serve alcohol. For heaven's sake, they even shut down school on March 17th, because no one would even show up!
They dye the cities fountains and the Savannah River green for the celebrations. It's kinda cool.
So, last year, I made sure that everyone had appropriate clothes (i.e. something GREEN) to wear. I started making plans.
We decided to brave the crowds (an expected 300,000+ people) and go to the parade. Since Ike had to work, we invited MiMi and PaPa to go with us. So, we drove to WSAV and then Ike drove us in as close as we could get to the parade route and dropped us off. We walked probably another 7 blocks or so to find a place near the WSAV booth and a spot big enough to accomodate 7 people, including Marinne in her stroller.
We thought we were ready for the parade, just wearing our green clothes, green beads and WSAV face tattoos. Turns out, most of the people were crazier than us!!!!
<------- People even dress up their dogs!
Look at these nuts!!!
There are GROWN MEN wearing kelly green pants w/ shamrocks embroidered alllllllll over them, like this one here----->
(and they don't even get their a$$ kicked for wearing them.....)
(for the record, those pants sell for $125.00 a pair!!!! I don't even own one outfit worth that much money!!!)
Anyway, we get situated on the ground on our blanket and the parade starts. We are in for the long-haul. (this parade runs for over 4 hours.....just ask Stacy after tomorrow!! Hee hee!!!)
Well, about 1 1/2 hours into the parade watching, I was holding Marinne who bent over and threw up all over herself and my shoe! Nasty! I had to strip off her top layer of clothing and used her tights to clean up vomit! All this with people crowded all around us. Fun!
Not knowing why she puked, I decided we needed to get the heck outta there before she did it again. So, hurridly, we pack up all our crap....blankets, diaper bag, cooler, etc. Then, we procede -all 7 of us w/ a stroller - to force our way down the overcrowded sidewalks and back to the "meeting spot" to find Ike. Believe me, this was NOT easy or fun!
So, we went home and Marinne was fine. Never acted sick. Never threw up again. It was like it never happened!
I was glad she wasn't sick, but even happier because Ike and I had planned for a date to go down to River Street for the festivities! I was glad we were still going to be able to go.
This is what it looked like on River Street on Saturday night! It was insane! Packed full of crazy dressed, green wearin', partyin' drunk-a$$ people!
I've never seen so much green beer, gigantic beads, kilts and crazy green clothes of every type you can imagine!
Since we only came with a few small beaded necklaces borrowed from the kids, it became clear that getting some beads was going to be a priority. Now, I know that many people would tell you....you have to "earn" your beads. But, come on, I'm a respectable mother of four....so we bought ours! I got some that had water w/ a floating duck inside, some plain green ones w/ a
shamrock pendant and a pair of gigantic beads that hang all the way to my feet! I also purchased a super cool green/white feather boa! Now, that's fun!
Now that we were decked out for partying, we decided to "get the party started!"
Now, mind you, I had not had one drink in over 2 years at all! We are no longer big drinkers, not like in days gone by. So, I am a lightweight!
So, we start out easy w/ some green beer (for Ike) and I get a hurricane. (fruity drinks, yummy!) Well, needless to say, I suck that baby down in like 5 minutes.
My husband thinks I am hilarious drunk, so he makes it his life goal to get me as many drinks as I will accept.
After 2 drinks, I am quite buzzed and giggly. We are having so much fun!!!
We went to the Ford booth and sat in some car and won a Ford backpack, which I am sure is still in the trunk of Ike's car!
I even had a few of these!!!
Total Drink Count at this time: 4
Then, we see the "shot girl" and Ike buys me 2 of these test tube shots and I guzzle them down!
P - A - R - T - Y!!!!!!!!
Now, I am drunk as a skunk.....
And here my friends is your answer!!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA~~~ Can you believe I asked them that???!!!
So, now I'm bored and I have Ike get me another drink.....which I start sucking down.....
Well, your probably thinking to yourself, was that the funny part of the story?? Well, the answer to that is NO!
You see, after I imbibed on all those lovely, fruity and colorful drinks for a few hours -- I have to pee. Really pee. The I need to pee RIGHT NOW kind!
Well, my friends, this poses a major problem for me, because I DON'T DO Porta-Potty's. AT ALL.
NASTY!! I'd rather die than pee in one of those things. But, friends, I was desperate!
So, in my desperation, I approach one of these. I start taking off my beads and my boas for Ike to hold, along with my last fruity drink and I bravely step inside.
I'm holding my breath, just trying not to "take in" anything I don't want to smell.
So, as I began to undo my jeans, I assess my surroundings. Since I hadn't been in one of these in so long, I was surprised that they now have a special urinal built in for men. Hmm....improvements over the years....interesting.
So, as I position my drunk self (a little wobbly, I might add) over the hole.....and desperately try not to let any part of me or my clothing touch anything.....I think.....this isn't so bad...........UNTIL........................................................I figure out that something is terribly wrong.........I feel warm and I can see the pee pee, traveling right across the floor, between my legs and running out the door of the porta-potty onto the ground! OH MY GOSH!!!! I tried, but, I am powerless to stop it.
It all happened so fast.....and apparently I wasn't careful enough with my clothing....... (more on that in a minute)
So, I finish up and survey the damage......it's not good.
I went into the porta-potty laughing and I emerged almost crying......
Ike took one look at me and said, "What's wrong? Everything go ok in there?" That was it. I got tears in my eyes and said, "No. I had an accident. Didn't you see the pee pee comin' out the door?!" (while gesturing to my pee pee on the ground)
"Is that all?"
"Nope" (then I turned around to show him the pee pee that got on the back waistband of my jeans while I was desperately trying to keep them off the floor.....)
"Ah, poor baby. It'll be ok. Let's just pull down your sweater and it'll be fine." (typical guy response....trying to keep the party goin'!)
Needless to say, I wanted to go home. RIGHT NOW. So, I froze my buns off (well, the top of them) while we walked back the 7 or 8 blocks to the car. That really sucked!
Looking back, neither of us got arrested for anything, so I guess all in all the St. Patty's Party was a success for us. And until THE INCIDENT I had a FANTASTIC TIME!!!!!!
In fact, I'm a little sad we will miss the parade tomorrow. And I'm even sad Ike and I won't be hitting River Street tomorrow night.
Total Drink Count:
Roxann: 5 big fruity ones AND 2 test tube shots
Ike: 2 green beers
And, for the record, YEP I had a hangover!!!!!!!
(oh my gosh, in some ways, I can't believe I just put that story in print. Please don't judge me toooooo harshly. All that leprechan crap went to my head, I guess!)
This year, I'm playin' it safe. I'm going to an all day crop! That should be fun, too. But, I doubt I'll have some crazy story to tell tomorrow night.....but who knows........we've had some crazy crop stories at the Savannah store...... Right, girls?!?! (wink::wink)