Sunday, April 1, 2007

Why are some of God's creature's so annoying?!

Is that wrong to say that? Because if it is, I really don't care. In my book, there are some of God's creatures that are simply too nasty to deserve to live. Bottom line.

Then, there are the creatures that come in my house and certainly were not invited!
I hate them even more!!!

Just before we moved, I had a problem with a bird who had climbed in under the eaves our our house and decided that was a better place to live than say, in a nest in a tree or a birdhouse. Then, the pain in the a$$ decided to PECK A HOLE in the ceiling of Griffin's room. Yes, the darn thing pecked a hole thru the ceiling, dropping sheetrock chunks and dust all over everything. Exactly, what kind of bird thinks it's a good idea to peck a hole in someone's ceiling. What did he think he was going to accomplish? Where was he going? What exactly was going thru his mind as he sunk his beak thru insulation and finally thru the semi-hard sheetrock?

So, Ike had to patch the hole and attempt to match that weird pattern on the ceiling.

Then, after Ike had moved. That a-hole bird did it again. I WAS FURIOUS!!!! What kind of bird decides he's gonna peck a hole in the ceiling twice??? It's not like it gets THAT cold in Savannah! So, another repair was in order. But, seriously...what a pain in the booty!

Also, I feel the same intense hatred toward Palmetto Bugs/roaches that are in Georgia. I have torn apart a room trying to kill some of those nasty creatures on more than one occasion!!!! (the only person I've met that hates them more than me is Sherry......poor girl nearly passes out when she sees one....I just get crazed!)

Most recently.....I'd like to say that.......


Yep, those little suckers have invaded my home. Now, do they bite? No, not this type. These are just annoying. (Although I did have a few go-arounds w/ the stingin' fireants in Savannah....and p.s. I won.)

But,these ants, well, they trail wherever they feel like it. They trail on the counter in the kitchen (and trust me, it's clean.) They trail by the front door and onto the shoes. They trail in my master bath and ruin the sanctity of my peaceful shower....because, afterall, I don't want them ON me!

::heebie jeebies, now::

So, I DECLARE WAR! I grab the closest thing to me, which might kill them. It's.....KABOOM!

It turns out, Kaboom! not only cleans your bathroom, but it will kill ants and ruin the paint on your bathroom wall. (just trust me on this one.)

So, I decide another approach is warranted. The next time, I am enraged by the sight of the ants in my bathroom, I grab the hairspray! I figure, it freezes your hair, I bet it freezes ants.

Yep, it does. But, it also leaves a sticky residue everywhere it goes. So, long term, not my best choice for ant killer.

So, I consult my friend, and read that organic, child-safe ways to deter the ants is to use cinnamon. (which I deem as too messy and bad for trying to eat well. After all, would it be good if everywhere I go in my house, I smell something that reminds me of baked goods?)

So, back to the list.......

The next suggestion for child-safe ant killer I find is to spray vinegar where they trail. Unfortunately, I HATE the smell of vinegar. It turns my stomach, so that's OUT!

Finally, I sent Big Daddy to Home Depot and he's putting out my ant killer stakes and he's provided me w/ a giant bottle of RAID.
GOD BLESS HIM!!!!!!!!!

So, I have BIG DREAMS of annihilating these stupids ANTS and declaring my home ANT-FREE by the end of the week.

So, in the interest of entertaining myself and you, I'll tell you a few other


These, my friends are a disgusting creature.....MICE! BLAH!!!!

I am one of those girls, who you can see running for a chair when one of these little nasty things shows itself. At least, I used to be.....

I, for one, had never seen a mouse up close and personal until after Ike and I were married.
We lived in this tiny house in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. It was kinda cute, but still a weird little house. It had a small living area (which was the water in our big aquarium was always uneven!) It had a tiny bedroom and a tiny kitchen which could only hold a table for 2 people (there was no dining room.) It had the tiniest bathroom I've ever seen (we used to joke we could pee pee, brush our teeth and take a shower all from the same spot. Ike and I were much smaller people back then and we couldn't even both fit in there at the same time! Seriously!) And we had a half-room which had the laundry area on one end and just enough space for a twin bed. It was a weird little house, but it was ours. (sorry, walking down memory lane mostly, but trying to set up the "scene" for the story......)

Well, one day, I went into the kitchen to make so dinner and I opened the cabinet over the stove to retrieve some boxed augratin potatoes, when to my utter *dismay* followed by disgust, I was looking straight in the face of a nasty little mouse! I FREAKED OUT!!! I could not even speak....I just started shaking, slammed the cabinet shut and ran the whole 7 feet from the kitchen to the couch, where Ike was watching tv. I still couldn't speak. I just started making these mouse noises and little mouse "charades" at my new husband, who looked at me like I was completely insane!! (temporary insanity, I think it's called.....) Finally, I blurted out...... there's a &#(&* MOUSE in there!!!!

So, Ike went in the kitchen and proceded to unload the cabinet and we found that there wasn't just ONE MOUSE, there was a whole family of MICE had chewed threw the stuff around the vent pipe and they were living it up in that cabinet, peein' and poopin' on all our food! I was disgusted and furious, all at once.

So, Ike went to the store and got some wooden mouse traps and a bunch of steel wool to stuff in the hole. I was a novice at this mouse trap business, so he showed me how to load it w/ peanut butter (they love that stuff....who knew?) and we began catching mice.

In some sick way, I found it satisfying with each sound of the trap being sprung, we were one step closer to taking our kitchen back! I, for one, did not enjoy sharing my slightly sideways home w/ a bunch of mice!!!!

Everything was going great, until Ike was in Tulsa one night doing his internship at KOTV and I was left home alone to study for a test. And of course, as I am sitting there on our bed, I hear this SNAP sound and my heart jumps into my throat.

Oh my gosh, we got one!!!!

I reason, no biggie, Ike will be home in 4 hours after then newcast and the drive home. He'll take care of it.........

But, my reasoning to myself is interupted by the sound of a mouse, struggling for his life in the mouse trap. All I can hear is this, BANG! Smack! CRASH! as the trap smacks into the cabinet, as he fights for his freedom.

OH MY GOSH!!!! What do I do?! Well, the crashing continues and I reason, I have to look. So, I drag over the kitchen chair to the cabinet and peek inside. Now, the mouse sees me and freaks out, fighting even more!

S0, what's a desperate, scared of mice kinda girl supposed to do? I did what any freaked out girl in my position would do and I ran to the laundry area and I grabbed.....

Ike's hammer!

Yep, standing on a chair so I could reach the cabinet, and shaking, I smacked that sucker with the hammer till he stopped fighting. (I hit him hard enough to stop him, not hard enough to smoosh him!!! I might be freaked out, but I am not dumb.)

(What else what I supposed to do?? Sorry, animal lovers!!)

I was traumatized for life! I called Ike and I was horrified. I cried and cried. He told me he'd remove "the body" when he returned home. And he did. MY HERO!!!

To this day, I hate the little me serious heebie jeebies just thinking about it. They are just sooooo nasty!!!!!

When we moved out of that house after our 1 year lease, we didn't have to deal w/ mice until years later.....

UNTIL......we got mice in the garage in our house in Broken Arrow. I didn't like it, but I couldn't figure out how to figure out how they were getting in. So, as long as they stayed out....I was ok.

But, one day.....they came in........and that was it......I was furious!! I turned into the MOUSE NAZI!!! I saw one run on my kitchen floor (the room directly next to the garage.)

So, me, being the levelheaded mouse hater I am, I went to the store and I bought enough glue mouse traps to make a continuous border around the perimeter of the room. I layed them side by side, until they made a continuous circle. I even thru in a few wooden, snap traps on the other side for good measure. Then, I used the mesh baby gates, to prevent them from leaving the kitchen at the two doorways.

And, I waited.........

***WARNING: Due to the concern of one my friends and dedicated reader of ~therealroxann~ ...the following picture has received a "D" rating for DISTURBING......
DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT PICTURE IF YOU ARE DISTURBED EASILY!!!!!!!!!!!**** was not long before I was rewarded w/ this......

And, I hate to admit it, but in the interest of this story, I will confess I talk to the nasty creatures when I find one in the trap. Yep, I say things like, "Well, you got just what you deserve for coming in MY house!" or "Go ahead, try to get out of the glue. I dare ya!"
(Yes, I am aware I'm weird....)

I get so obsessed, I check the traps over and over and over, just hoping for another one. In this case, I had the kitchen "trapped up" for about 2 weeks. It only took about a week, but I wanted to be sure I had them all. I caught 7. BLAH!!! And I didn't feel sorry for them one bit!!!

Luckily, I never saw a mouse in Georgia and I haven't seen one here, yet. But you can guarantee that the next time I see a mouse.....I'll KILL IT!!!!


Jamie (Savannah Scrapbooking) said...

Um...yeah...I think it's time to come home dear...this mouse story (complete with dead rodent photo) is entirely too graphic for the internet! LOL Great story...disturbing photo... um, I'm gonna go to bed now and if I dream about that sweet little dead mouse I'm gonna kick your butt! :)

the real ~Roxann~ said...

Oh, Jamie. You know better than to read the horrific stylings of ~therealroxann~ right before hitting the hay!! Maybe I should add a "R" rating for Violence on this post.....

beth said...

I know exactly how you feel - we have something living in our attic right now and it sounds big - probably a squirrel but we haven't gone to get a trap yet. When I was a kid I lived in Macon, Georgia. We had a pool and if we left wet swimsuits/towels on the floor, we would wake up to a trail of ants. I guess it was so hot and dry outside, they could sense the moisture and find it. Needless to say, my mother would be furious!

Sherry said...

Ick, Ick, Ick, Ick, Ick, Ick, Ick.


I need to take a shower now.

YourBestFriend said...

LOL.. OMG, that was a great story! I am a HUGE animal lover but agree with you on the mouse issue! Nasty Critters! Loved the warning!!! LOL

Kerry said...

Ok, I hate birds, but I HATE MICE even more.
I was working in Tampa for a few months and was staying at a house owned by my employers.
They had BIG mice. I mean BIG.
One ran over my foot one day while I was in the kitchen. I screamed.
Ewwwwwwww, so gross.

pinktomato said...

OMG youre a mouse murderererererer!!! ROFLPIP. ok for the record - me, who spent 15 years in south florida is the #1 "palmetto" bug hater in the world. and boy --- that inspires a blog entry that you are just going to die over. as for mice - i traded in my palmetto bugs for field/feild (lol) mice - but I live in teh country and i've pretty much come to the conclusion that they aint going away. I just should have listened to everyone when they said dont get rid of your barn cats. cats are at the top of my hate list, but they were all right. i never lived in the country before - so how would I know??

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