Class of 1987 Rules! UPDATE!!!

Union High School

Class of 1987 RULES!!!!


This was my name tag. Don't laugh too hard at my Senior Picture! We were laughing because the hair of all the girls wouldn't fit in the frame!

It was definitely big 80's hair!!!!


This ice sculpture totally Rocks!!!!

Isn't it pretty? This was the centerpiece of the hoers derves table on Friday night. I joked with Michele, that the price of our 2 tickets at $100 each probably paid for this ice sculpture! Although, I'm sure it was expensive, it was cool!
(no pun intended.....)



Speaking of cool...... This is me and my BFF, Michele!

Michele is totally cool! She and I have been best friends since elementary school....she grew up right down the street from me. She is the only person I have truly kept up with out of those who I grew up with.


Let me tell you about her. She's sweet, kind and loyal. She's super funny! She remembers EVERYTHING!!!! (which is a good match for me, who can't remember a lot of things--even things I should remember.) Seriously, if I need to know anything...I call Michele, because she probably knows.


Michele has been married for 19 years to Brent and she has 3 beautiful girls....2 of them being teenagers! Eeek! She lives in Olathe....which luckily, isn't too far from Topeka!


Down thru the years, things haven't always been easy for Michele and Brent, but these two are steadfast in their love and they are 2 of the most positive and resilient people I know. And Michele never, ever gives up! She inspires me to be better.


I absolutely love this girl and I'm honored to call her my friend.



So, this is me and my friend Brad.....

Brad lived across the street from me growing up. He was the hot, tall, very cool basketball star! When he first moved into our neighborhood....everyone was totally in *love* with him, including ME. But, somewhere along the line (like my Junior year) that changed and I was no longer infatuated with Brad, we just became closer and closer and he and I became more like brother and sister. (but all my friends and pretty much every other girl in my class was in *love* with him. And who could blame them? He was definitely a hottie! (and still is.....)

***side note: at the 10 year reunion, he was not married and he was voted the Most Eligible Bachelor!!***


So, Brad taught me how to shoot hoops. He taught me to play HORSE and he even let me win from time to time. He helped me perfect my *signature* backward shot from the bottom of the driveway. (Believe me, I had no idea how useful this would be in impressing guys while in college!!!!) Thanks, Brad!! :-)



It's been a while since I had seen Brad.....and I was SO HAPPY to give him a great big hug!!!! He and I have always kept in touch and seen each other over the years, but I hadn't been able to see him since I moved to Georgia....but we have kept in touch on the phone.

More on Brad in a minute....along w/ his family......


This is me, Michele and our friend Nelson!

Nelson is one of the most positive and happy people I have ever met! He is so funny and full of love! He lived in our neighborhood and we grew up together, as well. He was always such a good friend. It was great to see him and meet his family!


His wife, Jennifer, is beautiful! He has two handsome teenage boys (who are incredibly somehow bigger than him!) and a princess daughter who's not much older than my daughter. They all had fun playing in the sprinklers at the park.....

And this is Adam R w/ Nelson. They were good friends and did gymnastics together. Adam is now a commercial airline pilot.



This is Steve. He grew up at the other end of my street and we've know each other since 2nd grade!

It was nice to see him. Steve lives in Arkansas and he has worked for Wal-Mart for like 18 years. During that time he had advanced to the head of public relations for Wal-Mart and had the opportunity to work with many famous people. It was cool to hear his stories. He recently left Wal-Mart for a new and different opportunity. His wife is really sweet and he seems very happy......and that makes me happy for him!


(The funny thing about Steve and I is this. When he was the manager of the Wal-Mart in Tahlequah I ran into him one day. Well, long story short, we hung out and ended up making out! Ha! Ha! I hadn't seen him in years! How embarrassing!! Of course, neither one of us mentioned that at all!!! Ha ha ha!!!!!!)


The energy on Friday night was awesome! There was literally excitement in the air!! I saw and talked with so many people, it was two hours before I even made it in the door of the room!!!


After the reserved hotel time was finished at 11pm....a group of us were invited to Mike G's new bar that's opening up at the end of the month. It was a private party, since the bar cannot exchange money because of the "permits." Anyway, Michele, Christy and I were not drinking (well, diet coke and water....) so we were just hanging out, talking and watching others make fools of themselves....... Parts of it were funny...but parts of it were just sad. I'm just glad we weren't doing it, too.


We saw someone bow to "peer-pressure" and take a shot he didn't want to....and immediately puke.



We saw two people making out at the bar....than move the "party" to the bathroom. And within 5 minutes...they got "busted" by someone who actually needed to use the bathroom.


It was so hilarious! P and H were both people we knew who they were, but we weren't friends with them in high school. Anyway, P and H were making out on the bar stools. Then H told P to follow her into the bathroom and he did. Then, Jeff went to use the facilities and came flying outta there laughing his butt off and saying, "whoa...do not go in there!" Three minutes later, here came P flying out of that bathroom with a BRIGHT RED FACE!!!! HA HA HA!!!! But, the girl, H, didn't come out for another 20 minutes. And when she did.... she gave us the dirtiest looks....which only cracked us up more! WHATEVER....like it was us making out in the bathroom!!!



This behavior only continued the rest of the night, even down to when we left and P and H were making out in their car!


So, after Friday night I learned:

• Sadly, some things never change.
• I guess some people are never going to grow up.
• I guess there will always be cliche's at the class reunion.
• Some people will always bow to peer pressure.
  
• I guess some people will never realize that driving drunk is a realllllly bad idea. I can't believe how irresponsible a group of people who are almost 40 can be.

~SATURDAY PICNIC~


Saturday at Noon we had a picnic at Hunter Park. It was really fun to see everyone's kids and watch them play together!


Here's Brad with his wife Shandra and baby girl, Emerson. Isn't she a sweet baby girl. I'll have to admit it...I hogged that baby and loved her up! She's such a beautiful baby!!!


I am so happy for them, to see my childhood friend as a
Father and Husband...really warms my heart!


My kids really enjoyed the sprinkler park, too!

Jensen

Griffin

Marinne

Logan


We didn't think our old friend Katina was going to come...so I was super happy when she showed up at the picnic. Michele, Katina, Dana and I used to be our "group." We went out to lunch together everyday....running around trying to go eat and get back to school on time! Our favorite past time was jammin' to ZZ Top at the top of our lungs and doing air guitar in the car! We always had a great time!! (don't laugh at us because we are lame.....) Anyway, it was so nice to see her. She has 2 teenagers and she's a single mom. She didn't come Saturday night because she had a HOT date! You go girl!!!

So, here we are.... Christy, Michele, Katina and myself at the picnic! I think we all look pretty darn good for almost 40!!!


~Saturday Night~

This is my friend, Janie. Isn't she just a doll?!

We actually weren't really friends in high school. I guess we just didn't really cross paths. That happens alot when you go to a large high school. I knew who Janie was, though, because we had a mutual friend named Lisa.


At the 10 year reunion, I saw Janie and I honestly didn't recognize her. She had lost alot of weight. (you see, in high school she was a little fluffy.......and believe me, I'm not judging her, just pointing out how great she looks now!!)


At the 10...she was single and a flight attendant. We enjoyed talking and becoming friends. We promised we'd keep in touch, but within a matter of weeks.....we lost touch again.


Well, a few weeks ago, I got an email from Janie. She wanted to be sure that I was going to the 20 year reunion. And I was really happy to hear from her.


Well, she's been married now for 9 years on Aug. 1st to a terrific guy named Louis and she has 2 gorgeous little boys! She's no longer flying and she's now a stay-at-home mom and she's so happy! I was really happy to hear about her life!


We spent a lot of time hanging out both days....and she stayed out with me until 5am on Saturday Night/Sunday Morning.



This is my friend Shannon. She's adorable!

She's an artist. She's always been such a free-spirit. The kind of girl you want to be like....unafraid to do anything. I loved hearing about Shannon's family. I enjoyed telling Shannon about my "artist" Jensen and hear her advice about how to encourage him in developing his art skills.


We enjoyed laughing about Shannon going over to Brad's house when she had a crush on him and Brad's mom saying, "Hey Brad, that girl with the combat boots is outside!" Ha ha!! Like I said, she was a free spirit...and unafraid. I love that about her!!



This is me and Jimmy! Isn't he such a cutie?!?!

And he looks EXACTLY the same.....

Not only were Jimmy and I friends in school, but we grew up going to church camp together, as well. He and Paul G. and Jock D. were the 3 hot guys that hung out together and EVERY SINGLE GIRL was in love with one of them! (But, seriously, can you blame us? I mean...look at him!!!!)


The first night, Jimmy had a little too much fun, so the poor baby was still nursing a major hangover in this picture!


I enjoyed hearing about Jimmy's children and his wife was such a sweetie! Jimmy's an attorney now...so I guess I know who to call when I need legal advice!!! Ha ha ha!

This is Jamie. She's so funny! We went to high school, church camp and college together. We have had some really fun times together. And I just love her confidence!

She's married now and has 2 kids. She lives in OKC and works at a bank.


This is myself, John L. and Janie. John came *dressed* for the 80's! He bought this wig and then took it and had it cut into a mullet!! HILARIOUS!!! (By the way, nice Led Zeppelin t-shirt!)

John is *hilarious*....seriously the life of the PARTY!! He went to college with me too and was always having these massive Pi Kappa Alpha Frat parties at his house. We had some fun times at his house.....ah, those were the days....


This is Todd Cotten. He's a musician and a darn good one, too!

He played a few sets at the Saturday night event. It was the best part. He kinda saved the day......

You see, we had hired a DJ and had kareoke, but lightning hit the transformer and the hotel was not able to dim the lights, so we could have our "mood lighting" for the dance. So, people didn't want to dance.... Believe me, we tried to get them to do it, but with the lights on full.....people were just embarrassed or whatever..... I guess still worried about what people think, which to me, is so stupid! But, anyway, that's what happened.


So, back to Todd. He was great! I really enjoyed it. I had no idea he was so talented. He played some older stuff and he played some current stuff.


Todd came down from Toledo, Ohio. He brought his super-cute girlfriend, Tenley. She was such a sweetie!!


Here's Todd's website....go check it out!!



This is another cute group pic......

Shawn H, Me, Michele and Nelson.....


You've seen everyone in the pic already, except Shawn H. He's such a great guy! I enjoyed hearing what's been up with him. Michele got to spend a long time catching up with him!!!



This is Brad's wife, Shandra. Isn't she gorgeous?!

I had wanted to meet Shandra for quite a while now. As soon as I saw her I gave her such a great big hug!! She is just a beautiful person, inside and out! Brad's a very lucky guy!!!


Shandra took this picture of Brad and I. It's a really good one. Brad, Shandra, Michele, Steve, Shannon, Scott S., Scott A. and I were sitting around reminiscing about old times and teasing Brad about his questionable prom date choice......and laughing!! Man, that was funny! I was teasing Brad about having to push down his date's hair so I could be seen in the picture.
Ha ha ha! But, it was true!!!


(Well, I tried to find the pic of Brad, his date, me and my date, Matt in front of Brad's house, but this was all I could find.... anyway, once I found my prom pic....I had to post it!)


Shannon claims he broke the hearts of every girl in our class with the questionable prom date choice....and he DID!!!!


Good Times!!!!


I remember when we turned 16 (Brad is 2 weeks younger than me) and he got his suh-weet Porsche. (yep, his dad got him a red Porsche and it was awesome!) Well, that night, he loaded me up in his new car and took me to 31st Street, where he floored it....taking us from 0-60 in like 3 seconds!!! Seriously, my head slammed into the headrest and it was so exciting!!


Good thing he took me out that night, because the Porsche was only his for about 3 weeks.....since he got 4 speeding tickets in that time. (hmmm.....wonder why?!?!) Ha ha ha!!!


These are some of the cheerleaders from high school. I'm not going to say anything bad about them, they were all very sweet to me at the reunion and I liked them all in high school. But, to understand this next story....I had to show this picture.....

So, in high school, my friend Janie tried out for cheerleader every year! She could do everything these girls could do....but because she wasn't just the right "type," she never made the squad.


So, Janie, being as drunk as she was, had just enough courage to walk up to these girls and tell them how hard it was for her in high school and how she always felt like a failure since she never made the squad. And how they always made people like her feel inferior.


Then, she challenged them to a contest.....a "splits" contest.....she said, "I can still do it, can you?" Not one of the cheerleaders (who were as drunk or more drunk than Janie would do it.)


But, Janie didn't back down. Yep, she said, "Roxann, please hold my drink." Then, she handed me her purse, then took off one strappy sandal, then the other strappy sandal and handed me those as well. And as about 25 people watched in the hotel bar....Janie took her stance and..........BAM........

SHE DID THE SPLITS!!!!!!!!


Everyone in the entire bar was cheering, whistling and laughing!
It was hilarious!!!


Afterwords, Jane told me, she had to do it. She had to prove that she had the athletic skill, they just wouldn't give her a chance because she wasn't the perfect "stereotype."


And haven't we all felt that way in high school?!?!



So, after people started leaving the hotel....we all went back to Mike G's bar again. It was the same fun as the night before, but we had some different people that came this night, as well......

Michele and I

Christy and I --- Michele and Christy were good friends in high school, but honestly, we weren't really friends. But, I gotta tell you, this girl is awesome!!! She is freaking hilarious!!!!! But, not only that, she is practically a saint!


She is raising her sister's 2 grandsons, since her sister's death. The parents of the boys were not appropriate parents, so Christy did what she needed to do to get these boys thru the court system and now she is raising them. It even broke up her marriage, but she kept on.


Now, I am here to tell you that this girl knows what the meaning of family is and she's given up much to "do the right thing."


She inspires me so much....to do more....to do better....to be a better person. Christy, you are AWESOME!!!! I so enjoyed seeing you and getting to know you so much better! Now, I know why Michele loves you so much! And I am glad to call you my friend!!!

This is Shana and I. I didn't know her in high school, but she, Michele, Christy and I had a really long conversation. She is so sweet!!! I really enjoyed getting to meet her.....

Janie and Mike G.


When we finally left the bar it was after 3am, then Michele, Janie and I sat out in the parking lot and talked till almost 5 am!!

All and all---the reunion was a blast! I had so much fun. I hope we have a 25 year.....instead of waiting till 30!!!

Weigh In Saturday.....Quickie Update!!!!!

So, even though I didn't come rolling in from the re-union festivities until 2:45am.....I still got up and I was at Weight Watchers for my weigh-in at 8:30am.


And I am super glad I went because I lost.....


drumroll, please....


another 4.2lbs this week!!!! Woo Hoo!


So, for those keeping track, I am down 10.6lbs in
3 WEEKS!!!!!


(and on a funny side note...the girl that weighed me in, took one look at me and said, "I know I know you!" Turns out it was one of my Delta Zeta sorority sisters from like 17 years ago!!! SMALL WORLD!!!)


Well, I will update tomorrow....I'm off to shower....shave my legs and get ready for tonight!!! Plus, now I takes me 20x as long to get ready because....I cut all my hair off and I have super bad hairdrying skills. Hairdryers and I....well, it's not a good relationship.

But, I am sure glad you got me a new one Sherry...because I need it now!!!

Class of 1987 RULES!!!!

Hi!

I'm in Tulsa for my class reunion weekend! Obviously, I came down early to hang out w/ my daddy and favorite step-mom!

I'll be posting when I return home if I don't have a chance to do it now.....

Talk to you Sunday or Monday....

Roxann :-)

An open letter to my therapist.... **RE-EDITED**

Dear Ms. xxxxx....

I'm sorry I had to cancel my therapy appointment at the last minute. My husband's job is very demanding and there are many things about his job that are out of his control. He works in news.....most of his job is unplanned!!


In addition, in a management position, his responsibilities are often to higher-ups who are headquartered in another city. This provides extra scheduling challenges. A conference call scheduled by someone other than himself, cannot be avoided from time to time. Yes, he should have called me, but he forgot. He's human. There have been times in the past when I have forgotten appointments I have had. In fact, I did it only 3 weeks ago to my primary care doctor. It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. It just happens sometimes. People are not perfect. And that's ok.


I know you have felt like, at least in the beginning, that my husband wasn't committed to me making my therapy appointments happen by watching the kids. I know that first appointment, he panicked when Marinne threw up and called and asked me to come home. He relies on me and that's ok. I told him that therapy was a priority and I wasn't leaving. That's the way we do things. WE CO-PARENT. We are a team. I help him and he helps me. If he could, he would come home every time we had sick kids to help me. But that isn't realistic and I know it.


He knew it too, he just panicked. He's not used to having to deal with a sick 2 yr. old on his own. And when I said no that I wasn't coming home, he sucked it up and dealt with it. He did fine.


But, your judgment today tells me you are still holding this against him. We moved on....but did you? Because I have been seeing you consistently for many weeks now, without fail. This has ONLY happened because of his support. It's not easy for him to just up and leave when it's not even his actual lunch hour.......this takes planning and sacrifice on his part to make it happen. And I appreciate him for making it happen.....


I know I missed last week. But, I called you as soon as I knew I was going to have to miss because of his meeting. I called before 8am. You were not there. I left you a message. You did not call me back to discuss it with me. This meeting was, again, out of his control.


My husband feels terrible. He is very upset. He's sick to his stomach because he is afraid he disappointed me. And I am not mad at him. (In fact, I think he would feel better if I was mad at him and yelled at him) But I won't, because I am realistic. Again, his job is very demanding. And things happen. Schedules change. It happens.


Bottom line, he is the bread-winner for this family. If he doesn't do his job, he gets fired. If he gets fired, it would be disastrous for this family.


Quite frankly, I believe your judgment of us was harsh. You said that maybe once school starts...I could make it to therapy. Well, Pat, that was just mean. I am committed to this. But, in the real world, things happen. You make it sound like I don't care. Even more than that, you make it sound like my husband doesn't care and that is not true. Unfortunately, it was just bad luck that we had two last minute things that caused us to cancel two weeks in a row.


If you need to/want to...charge us for the appointments. Again, we could not help it.


I guess what is upsetting me the most is the irony of it all.....I have trust issues. And now, because of your harsh words, I am now having serious anxiety. And now, I will have trust issues with you. Are you trying to give me a dose of "tough love?" Because that doesn't work with me. It just makes me wonder when you will hurt me again.


Although, I understand your side, I feel you are being quite harsh and not very understanding. I feel a little betrayed by you. Am I overreacting? I don't know. But, it's how I feel. I am in a panic. Because you are mad with me (or maybe more with my husband.) Will we be able to get past this? I don't know.


You keep mentioning hiring a babysitter. That's all good and fine, but I already pay you $20 a week in co-pay. Then, a babysitter would cost another $10/hr., which would be about $15 once you factor in driving time. That's $35. Now, although I feel that therapy is worth the money....but that's also $140 a month. And where we would get that in our budget....I don't know.


In addition, we only have 1 babysitter. And when the kids go back to school, so will the babysitter. So, really that solves nothing. And I'm not about to leave my children with some stranger....just to make it to therapy. No one can take care of our children better than my husband and I. So, that's why we try to take care of it ourselves. In the 6 months we've lived here in Kansas, we have only had a babysitter 2 times. And the last sitter, although she came highly recommended, was HORRIBLE. But, this shows how infrequently we leave our children.


So, my husband asked me if it would help if he calls and apologizes to you. I don't know if it will or not.


So, where do we go from here? I don't know. I honestly don't know if I can trust you again. You really hurt my feelings. And it's been your job to talk me thru all this anxiety. And now you're causing it.


I guess it only proves your human too.


Sincerely,
Roxann


---------------------------------------------
edited to add....

Basically what happened is... Ike had a conference call that went into the time when he comes home so I can go to therapy. He was on the conference call w/ his boss (the general manager) and some big wigs....when he sees the time and realizes it's Tuesday and it's 11:05am and he was supposed to be home 20 minutes ago.

Meanwhile at home, as the time ticks on...it's getting closer to 11am and I am getting ready to go. I am sitting and waiting for him to get here at 10:50am. I knew something was "wrong" because he's been her every week to let me go. And usually he's early.

So, by the time it hits 11am....I haven't heard from him and he wasn't here. I knew something was "wrong."

I then called the therapist to let her know, because even if he showed up right now....I was already late, not including drive time, checking in and paying the co-pay, etc. So, I decided to go ahead and call her. When she answered I said, "I'm sorry to cancel at the last minute, but I guess I won't be able to come today. I don't know where my husband is. He didn't show up at home and I haven't heard from him. Something must be going on."


Well, she responds by "huffing" at me, like the sound of disgust.


So, I say again. "I'm so, so sorry. I just don't know what's going on.... It's just not like him to not call if somethings changes. I really am sorry."


So she says, "Well, I guess you need to consider hiring a babysitter or something so you can actually make it to therapy."


(I can tell by the tone of her voice she is mad.)


And just then the call-waiting goes off.


So, I ask her to hold on for a second. Ike sounds panicked. He says...."I'm on a conference call w/ my boss and I just realized what time it is....Did you call and cancel?.....I'm so sorry.....I'll come home right now.....My boss is telling me to go on home....."

So, I say. Hold on...it's too late. Stay there. She's already on the other line. I told her I didn't know where you were. I already cancelled and she's mad. Go back to your conference call and call me when your done.


So, I click back over to the therapist, who continues to act irritated with me. She says, "Well, if I figure out anything for your babysitting situation, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I'll see you when school starts."


I am stunned. I don't know what to say. So, I say, "Ok." and I hang up the phone.


So, about 20 minutes later. Ike calls me back.


He says, "I'm so sorry, would it help if I call and apologize to her?"


So, I say....I don't know...but it couldn't hurt. She says she won't see me until school starts...so I can actually make it to therapy.


Ike says, "Oh, geez, I'm sorry." I respond by telling him I am not mad at him. I know things happen. No biggie.


And, I really am not mad at him. I'm just realistic. He feels bad enough without me adding anything to it.


Now....all that being said. I understand her side, as well. When you have an appointment, the expect you to show up. Last week, I had to cancel because Ike had a conflict come up. I called as soon as he knew and told me, before 8am. And actually, I had a migraine that morning from all that crap I had eaten the day before for that diabetes test. (the migraine was most likely caused by the caffeine in the Cokes I drank w/ lunch the previous day)


I felt bad, but neither of us could change it.


Then, this week...well.....you read what happened. So, I can understand her being frustrated...but I think the way she dealt with it was unprofessional and unfair. Maybe I'm wrong.


Now...I should also say...just so you have all the facts....this woman IS NOT a doctor. She is just a licensed therapist with a social-work Masters degree.


Anyway, I feel like she tried to "punish" me like a 2 yr. old about something I could not control. And Ike messed up, he admits that. But, he couldn't control why he wasn't home, even if he had called me before the conference call started. I still would have had to cancel....and she would probably still be mad. I don't know. I just think the whole thing is bull.


Does that help clarify?

----------------------------------------------
Check the comments section for continuing conversation on this whole subject.

Here is what I posted there.....

I see some good points here...

Beth R...you give me WAY TOO MUCH credit! But, I love you for it!


Mandy...I wish you were here to give me one of your great big hugs!


Beth H....I bet you are right, if she had to cancel on me, she wouldn't blink an eye!


Jamie...I see your point. I've prepared for those classes you speak of and it's a lot of prep work. And when people don't come...it is very frustrating. Part of it is the desire to share our talents, but of course, there is the other side...of making money doing something we love.

But, I offered to pay for the missed appointments. So, isn't that probably what this is really all about? Money?

I actually think she doesn't know me well enough to "care" about me. Now, she might be "concerned" for my well-being, but it probably isn't any more than that.

The "problem" I have with her is her whole "attitude." Instead of just saying what's she's feeling...she "HUFFS AND PUFFS" and is PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE with me.

Geez...you would expect a therapist to be a little more straightforward and honest, wouldn't you? Isn't it her JOB to COMMUNICATE in an effective Manner?

Instead, she ACTS mad, but doesn't actually say that. And then, she "punishes" me. If she were actually concerned...she'd try to reschedule as soon as possible and find out "if something is going on" or if this was just a clear case of bad scheduling issues.

And we've had this "babysitting" conversation more than once. Bottom line...I have not found a babysitter that would work for this every Tuesday at 11am appointment. And she knows this. AND I REFUSE to leave MY CHILDREN with just anybody....and it that means that I have to "suffer" and miss therapy or whatever else...than so be it. I will not "settle" when it comes to the care of our children.


So, that's why Ike has been busting his ass to get home each and every time. And he has. And it hasn't been easy. And he hasn't complained, not even once.

But, these 2 situations were out of his control. But, he did mess up when he forgot yesterday...but it goes back to he's human.


Karen....I know you can understand the instability of the TV NEWS business. (Beth R, too)

It is what it is.

And I was very surprised w/ her harsh judgment of me based on something I COULD NOT CONTROL. And then her "punishment" of not coming back till school starts was mean in my book.

Does any of that makes sense?

July 18, 2007 11:28 AM

~~rox


******OH...and if this is about COURTESY******
(meaning, if it's inconsiderate to cancel an appt. at the last minute.....)

I'd like to point out...that I have been EARLY EVERY SINGLE WEEK and NOT ONCE has she been "on time" to come and get me for my appointment. I have been sitting and waiting on her past 11am every single time, which pushes our 1 hour to past 12pm. And then, Ike is even later getting back to work, even though he was home on time.

I have not complained to her about this...I just tried to be a little tolerant. Too bad she didn't employ that with me.


So...what do you think?


--------------------------------------------

Thanks Stacy and Jamie for the new comments.


I'm just gonna wait and see what happens. I am definately NOT going to quit going to therapy. It's been so good for me.
There have been so many changes in my life lately and therapy has been one of the things in the GOOD column!!!


I guess we'll just see how this plays out. I'll call and make an appointment and see what she does.


Ike called and tried to apologize, but he got her voicemail and she did not return his call. This says something to me.....



Plus...you should hear her voicemail message. It's VERY UNPROFESSIONAL. If you want to hear it for yourself...I'll give you the number....



Even all that said, I still like her and we were making good progress. If fact, the week before these two cancelled appts. I had even made her cry. (not sob, but tears) I think she was truly touched by what I was saying in regard to my rape and my response to it and my struggles regarding it.


Thanks again for all the input. I do appreciate you love, support, comments and criticism. It all helps.

xoxo
Roxann

Why are people so stupid???

So, this weekend while I was out and about....I saw 2 women who someone needs to slap the sense into! Why are people so stupid????


I went to the grocery store. And in the parking lot in the lane in front before the parking spaces start....I saw a guy w/ a 2 1/2 year old (based on his size/clothing) following behind, not being held on to. I thought....stupid, idiot dad!!! Well, the guy turned around, hearing the boy, and had a puzzled look on his face and KEPT ON GOING. Obviously, the kid didn't belong to him, but he LEFT HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!!!!!!!


Hello! He's 2 years old!! DO NOT LEAVE HIM IN THE STREET!!!


I know he doesn't belong to you.....
I know it's "not your job".......
I know you don't want to take the time to do it......

BUT TAKE THE CHILD OUT OF THE STREET AND MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T GET RUN OVER!!!!


Take 2 seconds and try to find his mother........


Ya know that saying, "It takes a village to raise a child?"
THIS is one of those times!!!!!


Anyway......within about a 2 minutes....out the door rushes a FRANTIC young mother (about 25 yr. old) and she runs out the door of the store, scoops up the child and begins to YELL AT HIM!!!


Ok.....I know you are upset he got loose. Scared. Relieved. Worried about what could have been. But for goodness sake girl, you must not have been holding him. And a 2 year old is WAY TOO YOUNG to "know better" or to be responsible for his actions. He sees something interesting and he's gonna go "check it out." He knows no danger!!!!! It's YOUR JOB to make sure he's safe and not wandering in the street at the grocery store!!! Yell at yourself, lady!!!!


Then, while I was at the mall yesterday shopping. They were having a "sidewalk sale," so there were lots of "things" out to look at in the hallways at the mall.


Well, there was a boy of about 3 years old and he was perusing the table in front of the Hallmark store. NO mother in sight. I stopped and watched him as he picked up breakable after breakable....still wondering where this child's parent is. I am scanning to see....who could be this kids mom..... but everyone is too far away to be his mom. Well, I was wrong.


THREE STORES AWAY and still walking was a woman probably in her early 40's pushing a wheelchair which most likely contained her mother. And she has not noticed the boy is not with her. As I stood their watching w/ my mouth gaping open....I see the tons of people walking by....any one of them could have snatched this kid,
time and time again!


Finally, at store FOUR AWAY....she realizes little Jacob isn't w/ her. And she stops and yells at him. (because, after all, it's not her fault)


And this continues all the way from the center of the mall down to Macy's. Never once did she ask him to hold a hand. Not once did she put him on gramma's lap in the wheelchair. Not once did she have him "help" push the wheelchair. I was worried for his safety.


So, as we get into Macy's. The child stops to look at the perfume bottles just inside the door of Macy's. He's picking them up, one by one. Smelling. Looking at them........and the mom
IS STILL GOING......and is far away from him.


Anyone coulda snatched that child and been GONE!!!!


And again, she YELLS AT Jacob and he runs to her.


STUPID, STUPID WOMAN!!!!!


Now, I know I can be "overprotective" but just the thought that "I" could have been a "bad guy" and could have snatched that child up numerous different times, makes me feel ok about being a little "overprotective." I would just die if something happened to one of my children. Especially if it was my fault.


And I know that accidents can happen. Even the most vigilant mother can turn her head for a moment and it drastically change your life in a horrible way. It happens everyday.


But, it really bothers me when parents are blatently being irresponsible.


I told the News Director about what I had seen and how much it upset me. And his response was.....
Well, those are the type that when their kid is kidnapped, and we interview them they say "....we don't know how this could have happened to us...."


Then, he said...it's sad that ANYONE can have a child....you have to have a license to hunt, but anyone can have a child.

And of course, the ND hates stupid people!!!


And, I do too!

Ha...it's a MIRACLE!!!

I LOST ANOTHER 1.8 lbs.

It's the weekend.....

Hey everybody!!!!
It's Friday, well for me, technically Saturday, as it's 12:28am!!


Random thoughts:

• I have the WW weigh-in in the morning. Due to unforseen circumstances....it will either be very bad, or possibly decent since I kicked butt today and yesterday not even using all my points!! (but I sit here typing and hungry... that's the problem w/ staying up late!! Bummer!!)

• I went to Hobby Lobby to get the 2 new Love, Elsie lines, Lola and Riley, that were only released to HL. They are there...but the manager says she has no idea when they will have the time to get them out. Um....hey dumb manager....I am a customer wanting to buy both lines.....SELL THEM TO ME EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO GO GET THEM OUT OF THE DANG BOX RIGHT NOW WHILE I WAIT!!!!!!! I was frustrated!!!

• I scrapped the cutest dang layout when I got home tonight. It was the other Pumpkin Patch layout. I am very happy with it. I hope to picture and post it tomorrow.

• And for some shocking news.....my 20th class reunion (high school...dang I'm not THAT old!!!) is next weekend. I am really starting to freak about what I am going to wear! I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I just want to go and look the best I can and feel comfortable in what I wear. KWIM? So, I am going to be hitting the mall all weekend! Wish me luck!

• I took Logan out w/ me tonight. He is really a great kid. I took him to Starbucks. We ordered him a blueberry white tea and it was quite good. Just the slightest hint of blueberryness!!! Yum! And I got a carmel frap light w/ no whip (waaahh...I REALLY wanted whipped cream...) but I was a good girl. I think it's like 4 points....(oh, I gotta go write that down!!!)

• So, my step-mom called me and told me that she's decided I need to enter the Creating Keepsakes Scrapper of the Year contest. She's CONVINCED I can win. Hold on a sec.... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Good one!!!! Yea, right! But, thanks for the vote of confidence, Janet. I love you for believing in me......

• Today overall sucked...... I'm cranky and crampy. (not crappy.....Beth!)
  
• Jensen woke up and was vom-ing and now he has the dina-rina! (as it's known in our house)
• The cat horked under the table during lunch....I made poor Logan clean it because I barely do kid puke....and I definately don't do ANYTHING that comes out of a cat!!!
• Marinne was cranky...let's hope she doesn't get it too!

Let's hope for a great weekend!!!

My latest scrapbooking layouts.....

So, I did a few layouts....

I'm working in Jensen's album, trying to get caught up. These are all from Fall of 2003.

This is the double-page spread. I wanted to use the Spongebob Paper, but I didn't want the layout to be a slave to it! I think it works!!

Here are the closeups of each page....

The "J" is new Sandylion. Have you seen these, they come in sheets of about 7 monograms. They are super-cute!


The journaling is done on my QuicKutz Silhouette, as weel as the stars!

--------->

The little girl with the pink bow is named Gentry. She was a doll! She was Jensen's first "girlfriend."

When asked why he liked her, Jensen said, "She has good hair!"
And, she does!!

This is a pocket-page holding his birthday cards and the gift list. I know it's kinda boring...
but again, I'm trying to get caught up!

And, yes, the bottom of it is not holding.... I used that Wacky-Tac stuff and I HATE IT! I'm out of my Pioneer Photo Tape that I love and that makes me in a BAD MOOD!!! So, I have to re-do that part.....great. It's still cute...


This is Jensen's 5th birthday picture....

...The "5" is a chipboard 5 which I covered w/ the turquoise card stock and then covered w/ Stickles. Turquoise on the top and Black on the edges. I think it turned out pretty good!


I think this one is super cute!
















I used some rub-ons that Sherry and I got at JoAnn's on clearance for the lettering. The Brothers is from an Art Warehouse rub-on set I bought from Amber at the last garage sale at Savannah Scrapbooking. Glad I had it, it was perfect. Perfect example of how one person's trash is another person's treasure! I had been dying to use it!


I used buttons from my box....I have lots of buttons, but I don't use them very often. I don't know why...I just don't. I like how they look here.

This is the first of 2 pumpkin patch layouts I have to do for this time-period. This is when I took the kids...a tradition we do every year.

The plaid base paper is another example of raiding the stash from 1982. (comment for you, Kerry, since you thought it was funny last time!) The diamond paper came in a paper pack I got for $2 at JoAnn's on clearance. It's CK paper. I made Sherry buy it because it was like 30 sheets of paper for $2. I never knew if we'd actually use it, but it was perfect for this layout. The other paper was a Karen Foster Pumpkin paper that was meant just to plaster your pic onto it. I hate that.
So, I cut that sucker up...
Fibers...so out now...but they work here. Letters cut on the Silhouette. And the rub-on is new...I think it's Fancy Pants! So cute!


Have you been scrappin' lately?

I am back under control!!!

Once I blogged about it....I was like....Girl, GET A GRIP!!!


So, today I have redeemed myself! Thank goodness!!!


As of now, I will have points left over by the end of the day!!!!


So, how are you guys?!

Self-Portrait Wednesday??

This is a Public Service Announcement:

If you see this girl, she may be Armed (with something sugary) and Dangerous (she started her period today!)


(I know, I know, TMI....but after the poop post...
I'm not sure that anything is more TMI than that!!!)


Do not be mislead by the broad smile and sweet looking disposition. This woman is a menace to society,
NO she's a MENACE TO HERSELF!!!


If you see her....please call
1-800-STOP HER
(yes, please....save me from myself!)


It's true, kids. Wake the neighbors! Alert the Media!
I am officially out of control!!!


So, it started out innocently enough, as most things do, but now I can't stop. So, here's the backstory.....

My insurance company is trying to deny that they need to pay for the diabetes classes and the nutritionist my doctor is trying to send me to. (Why do they always pull this crap?) So, when I found this out, I called my doctor and explained what I had heard. You see, the insurance is complaining that my diagnosis is unsubstantiated because I don't have enough blood test results to prove I am diabetic.

NOTE TO MY INSURANCE COMPANY:
Ok, now seriously you insurance people, do you really think I am trying to trick you into believing that I am a diabetic? Seriously? SER...I...OUS...LY?!?!


I mean, come on, who really wakes up one day and says, gee...I think I haven't had a good disease lately, so I think I'll try to get diabetes today. (Ok, ok....I know some people have that Munchausen's by Proxy thing.....but I DON'T HAVE THAT....
I HAVE DIABETES!!!!!!!!)



Get real people. I don't want this. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to worry that this diabetes could kill me. I don't want any of it. But the fact is...it here. I have it. And I need these damn classes. And I think you, my insurance company should have to pay for it. Isn't that what we pay for?! If not, what are we paying for?! And now that I am sick...it's all....we don't want to pay for your classes....talk about unfair!!!


So, dear insurance company.....YOU SUCK!!!!!

Ok, so anyway....when I call and talk to my doctor's nurse about this, she talks to him and he says, "Well, we can make sure you get the numbers you need. I want you to go on Monday, eat whatever you want for lunch, drink Coke and have dessert. Then, come let us test your blood....." OMGosh....he cracked me up!!!!
And I was looking forward to my "freebie" day....even if it did throw a little kink into my Weight Watchers thing!!


So, Monday comes and I go have my "prescribed" lunch. I go and the nurse pricks my finger (ouch!) and gets the number. She goes to check w/ the doctor, who is not around yet from lunch, so she sends me on my way. Then, about 3 hours later, she calls and tells me that they made a mistake and it was supposed to be a veinous draw. SO I HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!


Now, I know you're thinking....Yay! Do it again! Yum!
Well, normally, I'd be that way, too. But.....I am supposed to be on Weight Watchers. And I am doing well....so this REALLY screws things up!!!!


So, I did a repeat of the "prescription" for lunch Tuesday. And this time, got the right blood test. So, I'll get the results next week.


But, since I started today (a few days early, I might add).....well, it's pretty much, GAME ON!!!!!


Yep, I had a fat, juicy burger for dinner and chased that sucker down with a hot fudge sundae!!!!!!!
(How's that for a confession from the FUGITIVE?!)


And now, instead of kicking a$$ like I should be at my weigh-in on Saturday....it will suck!


I'm seriously gonna try to do better tomorrow....let's hope I have better luck than today!!!!

PAGING DR. McHOTTIE.......

So, I went to the Ob/Gyn today. And my new one is HOT! And I mean Yummy! He's really something to look at! And he's super nice to boot. He has great bedside manner and I felt comfortable with him right away. He reminds me of a young Dr. LaBarre (who was my most favorite OB I ever had in 20 years.)


But, unfortunately for me, my cervix (which is way up high, anyway) did not want to cooperate with any kind of internal exam. So, although he tried to be gentle, it was not fun! (not like it's supposed to be fun...but I mean it HURT!) And he kept apologizing over and over to me. He was really sweet. And I've been spotting like a big dog all day. (He said I would....)

So, blah.....


(For Stacy....he make Dr. B and Dr. R look like junkyard dogs! Although, I think Dr. R is possibly the most down-to-earth doc I've ever met. Dr. B....he's great, a talented doctor, but he just has too big of a head! KWIM?

Oh, and I told my new OB today about how when I saw how tall Dr. R was and his HUGE size 34 feet....and then, I looked at those hands and I got seriously scared about letting him anywhere near my girly parts!!! Ha ha ha!!!!)

I'd like to thank all the little people.....

(I'm totally kidding.....)


But not about THIS:



I got a BLOG AWARD!!!!!


Ahh huh! Oh, yeah! Ahh huh! Oh Yeah!
WOO HOO!
Yea, ME!!


That means someone, other than myself,
thinks I am funny!!! Or that I have something
worthwhile to say, that people want to read!



I was given this coveted award by a fantastic blogger that I have been enjoying for about 3 months. Somewhere along the line, she started reading my blog. Her name is Kerry, she has curly hair and she's a funny, funny girl! Check out her blog at Curly Girl.


I am re-giving an Honorary Award to her
because she totally Rocks!!!



Along with winning the award, I am to bestow this honor to 5 Rockin' Blog Girls that I love!


(crap...this is gonna be HARD to choose....I currently regularly stalk about 18 blogs........)



So, here goes my list.....



First, I choose Jamie D. She was the best darn boss I ever had and she's such a talented scrapper! She needs to do the CK HOF or MM Masters....because she'd stinkin' win! She never fails to inspire or make me smile, often both! I miss the heck out of her! (and her twin, Kristine, too!) You know I think you're awesome! Because you are!!



My second choice will be Elsie Flannigan. Most scrapbookers know who she is...but if you don't run to her blog (which is in the process of moving from here to here!) and check it out now! She has such a unique style and I swear she's the cutest girl I've ever seen! Her new Love, Elsie products are to die for! Yummy!



My third award to an Rockin' Girl Award goes to Sara a.k.a. Hunzer. She is freaking hilarious. She scrapbooks, she knits, she's a mom of a gaggle of kids and she's got a dirty mouth...get over it! (seriously, if foul language bothers you...you should probably skip her blog!) Anyway, I have been laughing at her blog for about 6 months! The thing I love about Hunzer is that she says what she thinks, including profanity, no matter what! And she has a charity donation link...
to do some good for others!!! (she has a BIG heart!) So, visit her blog and donate a few dollars to a good cause!



The fourth award goes to Stacy A.'s blog...My Scrap Studio. She's the best darn nurse any rockin' girl would be lucky enough to cross paths with. She's a GA girl, thru and thru! She's someone you want on your side when things get crazy. And she's the only girl I know tough enough to "pack heat!!" And she has more scrappin' talent in her pinkie than some people in their entire body! I'm super glad she's my friend! She reminds my why I miss Georgia.



And last, but certainly not least, is my mormonlicious friend AMBER!! Trust me, she's a Rockin' Girl! In fact, she's McRockin' !!!! She is super-talented, inspiring and funny, to boot! She makes me laugh. She posts beautiful pages! And I'm super proud to call her my friend. She's actually the only person that is not in my family that I've created a scrapbook page about! I did the page when she won the Adornit by Carolee's Apprentice contest and got her own scrapbooking lines produced and sold to scrapbook stores across the country. She's awesome! I love ya, McGirlie!!

So, Congratulations to MY Rockin' Girls!


Now, you guys need to choose
5 Rockin' Blogger Girls
to bestow your awards on!

Enemas, Alli-Oops and Poops...

WARNING: TMI FOR SOME......IF YOU CAN'T TELL....THIS POST IS ABOUT ALL THE AFOREMENTIONED WORDS IN THE TITLE. IF YOU DISLIKE THIS COLORFUL SUBJECT, THEN I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU DISREGARD THIS POST!!!!!!

This post is dedicated to my good friend Beth from SC!! A friend, no, a Sister, who I can share anything with and who is always there when I need a helping hand....I love ya!


Well, Beth was pretty disgusted by her husband's boss...who is apparently a unbelievably mean woman with no soul. Beth's teenage son has been on a student exchange in China for a month. Well, they had a problem and the flight was delayed, causing them to arrive on Monday, rather than Sunday. This was an unplanned, LAST MINUTE change. But the GM of this station would not let Beth's hubby off to go get their child and share in his "once-in-a-lifetime" return home. What an unfeeling jerk she is!


I felt so sorry for Beth....she was just so frustrated. I also feel sorry for her hubby. But, most of all, I feel sorry for Seth. But, he knows what dad's job entails.....and unfortunately, this is the life in tv. It's not the first or the last time this will happen.
But, this time it screwed him. And this is why people try to get out of tv....because of how it rules our home lives. But, I digress. Anyway, so my job became to make Beth laugh....
and I am usually successful!!!!


So, Beth and I were having a conversation this weekend about stuff and the weight loss I have experienced. I told her I felt "robbed" by not getting my well-deserved Weight Watchers sticker to put on my "bookmark." I mean, come on.... 4.6 lbs...could they not just round up and call it a victory!?! Now, I know it's just a sticker but.....this IS A BIG DEAL TO ME!!!!


I said...if I had just taken a poopy before I went to get weighed....I know I would have lost that .4 lbs. I needed to reach the sticker-worthy 5lbs.!!! This really made her laugh!


So, Beth suggested I try an enema before I leave next week. But, NO, me and enemas. We ARE NOT friends. I've only had one enema in my life and it was after I had my first child. They wouldn't let me go home until I had a BM. So, Nurse Ratchet came in w/ that bottle....and I freaked out! So, my loving husband gave me the enema! Isn't he the greatest?!!!


This floored Beth! She was like, "OMG....he did not!" Oh, but yes he did!!! I was so scared and I trusted him, not that enema wielding nurse!!! Like I told Beth....it's not like he didn't KNOW THE AREA!!!! For goodness sake, he just witnessed me turn my body inside out giving birth to his Son the day before!!!


Well, hearing my aversion to the enemas....Beth suggested I take Alli.

She told me she had tried this new product called "Alli." Now, I've seen this prominently displayed on a center end-cap at Wal-Mart, but I don't know anything about it. I know it's for weight loss...but that's all I knew. (And, I do like their packaging concept....I like the white w/ the colorful letters. But, as Ike says, I am affected by advertising. Is that bad??


Anyway, she and I are sitting here discussing this and she was telling me about taking the Alli. But, she only took it for a few days because of the tornado she had going on in her bowels. Poor baby! Apparently, you can't even eat anything remotely fatty or you "pay the price." She said she practically couldn't leave her house because of the quick need of a bathroom!


Apparently, you will witness the appearance of an oily substance floating in the toilet after your BM. OK....GROSS!!! And another wonderful side effect is the anal leakage. (I think I threw up in my mouth a little!!) Bottom line, it sounds like with Alli....the bm issues will be a Party in your Pants and you're sure to be the Party Pooper!!!! Hee hee hee!!!


(yes...I think potty humor is funny...my whole family does....)


Well, Ike was sitting here while I was talking to Beth (who he knows and loves) and when she said she couldn't leave the house...I joked...so the poopies are out of control? Like you could have an accident? To which Ike piped up and said...
"I think that's known as an Alli-OOPS!!"


Ha Ha Ha!!!! We cracked up on that one! Good one, Ike!!!



And Beth, well, Beth had the Mexican food calling her name....so she knew she better stop the Alli if she planned to consume that and avoid her own "Alli-Oops!!" So, she quit it.



(Hey Beth...I know what you can do w/ your leftover pills! Do you feel like making some "Alli" brownies to put in the GM's office?! I don't know if she needs to lose weight...but I bet it takes some weight of your shoulders!!! Hee hee hee!!!!


But, from there....the topic progressed to poop in regard to health. I mean...Oprah talked about it on air...why can't the Real Roxann?! Of course I can, and of course, I will!!!


So, on Oprah. They were talking about your health and bm's that sink or float. Apparently...if you eat a lot of fat....your poopy will float. Well...I can attest to the fact that lately my poops are sinkin'!!! Beth found this funny. And she can't believe that there was an Oprah show about this. Oh, but there was. It was Dr. Oz answers your most embarrassing health questions!! Go to her site and look it up. It's there. I promise!


Ok, ok...that's enough! But, I had to share. I hope you
weren't offended....but I warned you!!!

So...Guess Who??......






Lost 4.6 lbs last week?



Yep...it was ME!!!



(And then I did 20 minutes of pool jumping jacks. After 5 minutes my legs hurt, but I powered on thru it. After 20 minutes, I was exhausted.)



And now I can't walk. Can you say sore?

Speaking of Freedom....

I have freed myself from the bondage of my mother-in-law. I know some of you have heard the many, many insane stories of my MIL. (thanks for always listening, Michele, Sherry and Tammy....or rather, for letting me dump on ya and always taking my side!)


Anyways, I know people often say, my MIL is the devil or I have the worse MIL ever, but seriously, mine is REALLY BAD. Not that she can't be good, because she can, but unfortunately she has some untreated mental issues that often cloud her judgment and in addition, she likes to be in charge and she likes to get her way. (but, who doesn't ?... the difference is, she takes it to the extreme! Such as stalking, hanging up on you or even throwing a fit, like a 2 year old...and she's 73!)


Ok...for you to properly understand this story...we have to go back.


(Go to the restroom, grab yourself a chair, a coke and some popcorn and prepare for the show....)


When I first came into Ike's life, it was only a few weeks after I had been raped. I was, as I have said before, very emotionally unstable. I was fragile. I was a mess. I no longer knew who I was...I was angry and I was confused. But, no matter how hard I tried to push him away, he would have nothing of it. He stood by me and persevered. He was awesome.


In those early weeks of dating, he decided he wanted to marry me. But, I was way too skittish. I was downright scared and I was convinced he must be nuts to take a chance on damaged goods like me. He believed in me, but I didn't believe in me.


So, anyway, when I met Ike's mom the first week of dating Ike...she was nice to me. I had tied some pink and green balloons left over from sorority rush on the doorknob of his apartment. (for some reason, she thought this was sweet and found it entertaining...) But as the next few weeks went by, at some time Ike announced to her that he intended to marry me...and that's when it all changed. Any girlfriend he had was good and fine, until he got serious about them. (Just ask me about the time he took "A" on a family trip to North Carolina to see his sister...and the disaster that was to occur because of his insane mother!!!!)


Ok, ok....I know you guys...you're gonna want to know this story.... When Ike took his girlfriend, "A" to NC w/ his family....well, while they were there his mom got her crazy on and was convinced that "A" was "hitting on" Ike's dad. She accused of this. She got pissed and she and Ike's dad (at Ike's moms orders...left and went back to Oklahoma w/out Ike and the girlfriend) So, then Ike's sister had to get plane tickets for them to fly back to Oklahoma. THIS SERIOUSLY HAPPENED!

a) you don't go 1/2way across the country and leave your kid and his girlfriend there, even if he's w/ his sister. You just don't do it.

b) he had no money...sis paid for everything!

c) ummmm...a young, hot girl would not be "hitting on" Ike's dad.....can you say gross?

d) can you say....delusional, crazy woman (see, she doesn't just save her crazy for me...she acted like this before I came along!!)


Back to the story....... So, at that point, she decided she didn't like me and began to try to run me off....


And I have put up with her abuse for 16 years now. I am exhausted with it...and I am DONE.


Now, I know you are thinking, abuse is a pretty strong word, but it's actually accurate. This woman is an abuser. She physically (and emotionally) abused my poor husband when he was a child. And she physically (and emotionally) abuses her husband, and he is her enabler. Can you say, co-dependent? It's seriously messed up. And, although she has never physically abused me, and though she's denied it...she had emotionally abused me for the past 16 years.


She has done and said some really mean, emotionally abusive things to me over the years...here are a few examples:

• On the day before our wedding, she approached Ike and asked if he was sure he "wanted to do this." She then offered him a trip for he and his best friend anywhere they wanted to go for the entire summer, if he would just walk away and not marry me. Can you believe that? That is an attack on not only me, but a complete disregard for the $12,000 my parents had spent on our wedding.

Now, I didn't know this immediately, but when he finally told me what she had done....I was FLOORED! I could not believe how mean this woman could be!!!!

• during a fit where she didn't get her way of having her "baby" (Ike...she didn't give a crap about me) stay at her house. Every time we came to town, we stayed at her house and not w/ my parents. So after 3 months of this, I suggested to Ike we spend Friday night of Labor Day weekend at her house, then go to my parents house for the next 2 nights. Ike understood and he was happy to do this. Well, this made her mad. And once we went to my parents house, she called their house over and over, yelling and screaming at Ike about him "letting that fat little booger run his life" and topping that off with saying, "she's just a whore and she had sex with that guy and made up the rape story to make her look better.) YEP, she screamed this and Ike, me and my parents heard her yell it loudly thru the phone. Poor Ike, was embarrassed by her behavior and could only say, "Mom, don't say that." It was hard on him....I mean, who really thinks that when they get married....they would be forced to choose between their wife and their mother. That's just wrong...and she's just so darn mean.

So...I think you can start to get the picture from only those two examples....


When I began to learn just exactly how mean and hateful she could be....I began building up a wall to try to protect myself from her. I was afraid of her and what she could do to me. But for some reason... I was still seeking her approval. In my mind, she should like me and I thought she eventually would. I didn't know it then, but I was wrong. She would never fully accept me. She would just do enough to get by.


Early in my marriage, my mother (the smartest person I know) recommended to me, that I never make Ike choose between me and his mother, so I have done my best to not do anything to make him feel a need to do this over the years.


Also, there have been times that they have "helped" us financially in the past. For instance, when we were first married we were both in school and both his parents and my parents helped us financially until we graduated from college. Also, when Ike didn't have a job, they helped us financially. And when money was tight, they helped us financially. But, no matter the circumstance, even though we offered, we were told we did not need to repay them. But any "HELP" did not come for FREE. There were always strings attached. Unspoken things that were expected of us. Such as....weekly Sunday dinners, no matter what. Such as....us having to do things on their schedule, no matter what. Such as feeling they "deserve" certain things (like time with grandkids) whenever they request it. Everything comes with "conditions" that control the way we live our lives.


So, I think this kinda bring you up to speed....

-----------------------------------
So, here's what happened that was the "straw that broke the camel's back."


Readers Digest version....Gma and Gpa (my dad and stepmom) had wanted to have the big boys come to their house for a week. So, we chose that they would go home with them after Logan's party and stay that week. (then my brother invited L and J to go to church camp from Sunday to Tuesday w/ their cousins...and so we all decided that was a great idea, since the cousins are moving away next month)


Well, Ike's parents found out the kids were going to Oklahoma for the week (actually....Griffin told them....he was excited.) And even though their house is badly trashed (by the renters from this past year) and they have no furniture....the insisted on taking the kids while my dad had them. (can you say jealousy reared it's ugly head?!) They had been in town for nearly 3 weeks and never once mentioned a visit from the kids, until they found out about my dad and step-mom having them.


Eventually, I told them that we didn't think this was a good idea because of the condition of their house. They insisted that they had done enough work and it was clean enough. So, after some thought, Ike and I thought....maybe we should just let them go. So, I told them they were "busy" with my dad this week, but they can come on Sunday and you could have them the next week.


Well, this wasn't good enough. We heard 1000 reasons why this wouldn't work and that it had to be now. I said, "I'm sorry, but my dad/Janet had planned for this week. They have things planned. Janet took off of work." Well, this made her furious and they continued to insist that it had to be now. I was mad. I tried to give them what they wanted, but ultimately, this was about "taking them from my dad and Janet." So, I finally just said, "I'm sorry, but if that isn't going to work for you...then I guess we'll just have to do it another time."


(I tried to give them what they wanted and they were unwilling to make it work.)


Well, this pissed them off. They immediately emailed Ike (although, I had already told him what happened) and "TATTLED ON ME!!!"


SO TYPICAL!!!


I was so angry. He and I talked about it and made the decision together. I called and told them our decision and they went behind my back, because they didn't like my answer.


Anyway, I finally had enough. I told Ike that I thought her behavior was ridiculous, starting with the rude departure from Logan's party and then the jealous plot to get the kids away from my dad and then refusing to have them over when I offered a different time to do it. It was too much. So, when she made my Father-In-Law call me to do her dirty work. That was it.


He called and asked why I wouldn't let the kids come see them. I calmly replied that they had plans with my dad and Janet, but they were free to come on Sunday and could stay with them the next week. But, he said it wouldn't work. But they gave no reasonable explanation why it wouldn't work. He just continued to argue with me. I finally said, "Now Wayne, if you guys had the kids for a pre-planned week and I called you at the last minute and said my dad was coming to get them today, you guys would be very upset and angry." He says, "No, we wouldn't."
Now that is not true. My MIL would be so mad and we would pay the consequences. So, after over an hour of arguing with him, I finally said, "Well, if you don't want them next week...then we will have to do it another time. But, of course, that wasn't good enough!


So, they called later and continued to cause problems about this issue and finally, I had enough. I decided to email her, because she has a habit of hanging up on you when you say things she doesn't like.


So, with my husbands blessing, I wrote an email to my mother in law explaining how frustrated I was by the whole thing. Well, when I started writing....things just started tumbling out of my mouth. And when I started realllly reading what I had written, I was surprised by how much I had to say. Once I started, it all came spilling out. ALL sixteen years of it.


Well, for speaking the truth. I received 4 really HATEFUL and THREATENING phone messages, followed up with a couple of scathing emails. I was called the meanest person ever. (ummm...no, that title is yours) She called me a liar. (which isn't surprising) But, when I got reallllly mad is when she denied several major things and called Ike a liar 3 times. Now, that I have a problem with. She can call me a liar all she wants. It hurts my feelings, but I will live. But to call your own son a liar, especially about these certain things is inexcusable. So, I really laid into her.


Well, when all was said and done, we are no longer speaking. And Ike chose to totally back me up, even though I told him he could do whatever he wanted to in relation to his parents. And we haven't spoken to them in over 2 weeks.


And I feel like a HUGE burden has been lifted off of me. More than I ever realized!


Not only that, but in sharing this w/ my therapist, she was floored with how I let her treat me over the years. I told her how I felt like my MIL's opinion of me, really hurt me. She pointed out that many of my mother-in-law's behavior were much like my rapists. (the controlling, the emotional torturing, the name-calling, etc.) Wow. I had never thought of it in those terms before!



Now, I won't say I am 100% innocent in all this...but some things I've done, have been done completely in response to how I've been treated by her. And yes, I wish it was different, but it's not. But, I have never in my life had to deal with a person like her. And I don't know how to deal w/ her bs. And I don't want to. Anymore.


The worst part is I feel so guilty, although, Ike made his decision on his own, I know he did it to support me. And I appreciate that. But, it still makes me feel bad. Darn it.


But, I had to do it. It was tearing me down as a person and I'm trying to do what I can to "fix" myself and to become better and stronger.
But, that doesn't mean it was easy. And I'm sure it's not over. We'll see.....

Anybody have any advice for me??

What a Marvelous day!

"o'er the land of the FREE and the home of the BRAVE!"

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Happy 4th of July Memories!!





We started the day being LA-Zee! We just took it easy for the morning and after lunch, we mozied on out to the pool!


I snapped this picture of myself before getting wet, because I figured it would be the only one I would end up being in!


The neighbors came over and jumped in the pool, too! Everything was going GREAT, until Ike looked over and noticed the big "wall" cloud coming over the horizon. Amazingly, within like 20 minutes....the cloud grew, our beautiful sunny day changed and the city tornado sirens were going off. Everyone jumped out of the pool and ran it as fast as we could! Can you believe that?!

Sure enough a tornado touched down about 15 miles from our house. And even more scary, there was a tornado that formed (and Ike's station got it on camera) about 5 blocks from our house! (it did not reach the ground...the funnel formed and then went back into the sky.)


Then, it rained off and on for the next 3 hours or so! Talk about a damper on the day!!!!




When the rain began clearing around 5:30....we started getting all the stuff over to the neighbors for our cookout!



<-------- This is Cary....he's excited about this firework!

I had to get a pic of it when I saw the missles said....

TNT!!!!


Hilarious!!!!

Of course, this is Big Daddy.....with one of his 9 million bricks of firecrackers he loves so much!! (Why does this holiday make grown men act like a bunch of children?????)

----->
Too many of these...

<----- Make the princess do this! Poor baby hated it!

I failed to get a pic of the food spread Kelly and I put out, but I can tell you it was good! (and I behaved myself, until this----->)

This concoction is Kelly's homemade ice cream which is FANTASTIC!!!! It's seriously delicious!!!! So, anyway, during the cookout, I measured everything and brought my own "lowfat" chips and my own whole wheat bun for my turkey burger that Kelly measured out for me. I did realllly well.
But then, I had the 1/2 cup of 7-points worth of homemade ice cream with the "measured" 1-point worth of fresh strawberries and blueberries. But, ultimately, I could not resist. And eventually, I had a second 1/2 cup of Kelly's fabulous ice cream. (this time without any delicious berries!)
THANK GOD FOR FLEX POINTS~

I really enjoyed watching the children play and enjoy the day!

This is me and my friend Kelly....she's fabulous! I'm really glad she's my neighbor and I'm even more glad she's my friend!!!

------>
Logan.....dancing around in
"smoke bomb" smoke!

<---- Happy Birthday, America!!! From an American Princess!!!

------->

Look at this American guy and the beautiful sky in the background....eventually, the sun did come back out and then we were treated to these fantastic colors as the sun went down!

<----- A true American CUTIE!!

And finally, the fireworks.....turns out I have no idea how to take pics w/ my new camera of fireworks.....

So, this was all experimentation....coulda been better, but could been much, much worse!!!

Hope your day was *fantastic*!!!!

HAPPY
4th
of
July!!!!

Self-Portrait Tuesday

Can you tell I am exhausted?!?!?!

ps...i know, i know...it's really only 12:17pm here....technically wednesday, but really still tuesday to me....

Thanks for the advice....

...So, the great therapist debate continues.....


I have an appt. on August 18th with the one guy. (but honestly, I think I prefer a female, but it's there if I need it.

And I thought the Christian doc was ignoring me, since I received no return phone call today...until I checked the caller ID. Turns out, she called, talked to Ike and he forgot to tell me. So, now it's almost 6pm and I left a message back to her, but tomorrow is the 4th, so now we are talkin' it will be at least Thursday until I hear from her! Ugh!

Now, I feel the need to say, although most of you actually know me and you know I am not one of those people who go around droppin' the "F-Bomb" every other word or even cuss THAT much. (ok, well sometimes a little cursing when there are no kids around.....) I guess my concern is....I don't want to offend her. But, honestly, I think I could use the religious guidance that she could provide.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their advice on this subject......

So, what's worse?

Feeling like your crazy or actually being crazy?


Now, forgive me, I don't mean to make fun of being crazy, but since I am being treated for mental stuff, I think I have a right to joke, in order to deal with things.

I know being crazy isn't funny...it's actually can be very sad. Trust me, I deal with these issues and try to figure out where I fall into this very wide category. (my therapist assures me I am not as crazy as I sometime feel....I'm just my own worst critic and my inner judge is really harsh....see, I am a meanie...to myself!)


Anyways, so my quest today is to get an appointment with a Psychiatrist. (this is a doctor, who manages meds and can evaluate mental capabilities and issues) So, basically, this doctor will make sure that some anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and depression are my only issues....and I need to know.


To be honest, this scares the crap out of me. What if he determines I am nuts. What if he gives me some diagnosis that I don't want to carry. (sorry, but some diagnoses carry some pretty bad stigmas.) And, believe me, I have enough on my plate now! But, I will, as always, deal with whatever info I am given.


As I have said before, I just want off the roller coaster!
(and sometimes medical management is necessary for this to happen...I guess we'll see what happens...)



But, today I was reminded I live in a small town. (Yes, my town is bigger than Richmond Hill but smaller than Savannah.) So, anyway, there are 11 Psychiatrists listed on my insurance, but that list was quickly whittled down to 3. The first has closed her office. The second only practices every Saturday and two Thursdays a month....read, I can't get an appt. w/ him until August 18th. The third is a Christian therapist, which I am not opposed to, but I'm a little scared that I might accidentaly drop the "F-bomb" or some version of it in front of her, as I have a tendency to do when I talk about that fu@*er that raped me.
(I just call it like I see it!)

But, I can handle it fine. I'm trying to quit cussing anyway and I am really good at censoring myself around children and my brother and parents.

So, if I break out in a #*$PICKLES*#% will this one be able to handle my CRAZY?


After all, I am just trying to protect her from me. Is it crazy that I feel the need to do that?


So, whose the crazy one now?