Dealing Myself the Weight Loss Hand....

So, I was cruising around the net and I found a challenge to make these cards. It's a "mini-album" when you are finished. Well, I rarely do mini-albums (I've only done one before.) I mainly don't do them because I am always so far behind with my regular scrapbooking that I don't have the time to do them. But, this seems very worthwhile to me. So, I am playing catch up and I'll probably add some pages of my own.


So, I decided to do it to help motivate me to keep going. Usually by this point in a "diet" I have long given up. I know that WW is helping keep me motivated, but this motivates me even more to keep going!


I am really enjoying making it. I started on Saturday night and this is how far I've gotten. I hope you enjoy it, too.....


Roxann's Weight Loss Journey....

So, I decided to make a cover page for my book and this is it. I love it!

(Hee Hee! I used a flower!! First time ever!)

Challenge 1 ~ Scrap the goal.
What do you want to accomplish?

Putting these goals down wasn't hard, I had them in my head already....

Challenge 2 ~ Theme: The Key to Success.

Leave it to me to take everything so literally....

































Challenge 3 ~ Scrap a motivating quote.























Well, I had these DCWV products that I purchased at Archiver's when Sherry was visiting.
I had no idea what I was going to do with them, they just "spoke" to me. Of course, I had to have them! So,I decided to use them for this mini book and it turns out they were perfect for it!!! I used these two vellum quotes together, added some words and came up with my own LARGER quote.


Now, my quote speaks to me, too.






Challenge 4 ~ Scrap about your food or drink weakness. Journal how you plan to overcome it.





This one came to me very quickly...

It's that time again! BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

Don't my boys look handsome?

L is in 6th Grade and J is in 3rd grade.

It doesn't hardly seem possible!! Where does the time go?

Could this child lose any more teeth?!

And this boy is really maturing into a young man.
(did you know his feet are bigger than mine, and I wear a women's size 8?)

Once I stopped torturing them with the picture taking, they were off to the bus in a hurry.......for the record, they were not late, they were excited to get to school!

at the bus stop........

...and off they go.

I'll miss them, but I'll enjoy the quiet.

(well, the quiet reduced by half, anyway....)

Self-Portrait Tuesday

Is anyone getting as bored w/ this SPT as I am?!


Seriously, tell me if you are......

WEIGHT WATCHERS UPDATE......

See this?


This is how much weight I've lost in the past 7 weeks.


15 lbs. 15 pounds. FIFTEEN POUNDS!!!!


Somehow, I managed to lose another 2.4lbs over the past 2 weeks for a grand total of FIFTEEN POUNDS!!!!

(I did not weigh in while in Savannah, because I would have had to go at 7am on Saturday morning and it was a 30 minute drive one way to get there.....ummm, I was thinking no!)

So, this 2.4lbs is lost over 2 weeks.


So, Yay! Now, just keep on going!

So, where do I begin to tell you about Savannah???


It was FABULOUS!!!!!!


I started out my “journey” on Wednesday night by driving to Olathe to my BFF Michele’s house. Since she graciously agreed to let me park the car at her house and take me to and from the airport for my trip, I decided to take the opportunity to spend the night with her and get to hang out a little.
And I’m so glad I did.


I had been meaning to go down and spend some time with her, but I guess I haven't been able to get my act together to go see her yet. (quite possibly, it’s just because I suck….) She even came and helped us move in! (but, she’s awesome!)


So, while I was at her house….her youngest daughter graciously gave up her bed to me! (Thanks for giving up your bed, A! You seriously rock!!!) But, on the bad side, it big-time stormed all night long and the lightning and thunder kept me awake most of the night…. So, I started my trip sleep-deprived.



Both flights on the way to Savannah were mostly uneventful, except one BIG THING…… I DID NOT HAVE TO HAVE A SEATBELT EXTENDER!!! This, my friends, is a MAJOR VICTORY!!!! The past few times I have flown, I have had to have one and it has been extremely humiliating!!!!
So, YAY ME!!!!


I arrived at the Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport (which, for the record, is a nice airport, but is certainly not international!!) to a smiling Sherry! It was great to see her and she had an adorable new haircut, too! We risked getting run over by a wayward taxi or a late passenger for a great big hug! Has it really only been 2 months since I had picked her up at the Kansas City airport?! It seems longer......
I miss her so much!


Anyway, S and D had to take their son to Meet the Teacher night, so they went to do that and I went to dinner with my good friend, Tammy. It was really great to see her again!Well, Tammy suggested we go to Houlihan’s....
mmmm...Houlihan's!

And since I love it, I quickly agreed! (Yep, I was tempted by the Crème’ Brulee! It is my favorite....) It was delicious and Tammy even enjoyed a couple of Chocolate Martini's!!
She deserves a night out!!


Tammy and I have also kept in touch since I’ve moved, so it had only been about 3 weeks or so since we last spoke, so we caught up on the latest happenings in our lives. It was good food and good company. I miss her very much. I only wish I had been able to see her house and her boys….. for so long they were almost like my own children…..and I think of them fondly.

When I came back to S’s house, we stayed up a good, long time talking and laughing!!! (read: WAY TOO LATE!!!!)



Friday, Sherry had to get her boys off to the first day of school, bright and early! And she kindly let me sleep in since I hadn’t slept much the night before! (ps…thanks for the super comfy bed, Michelle R......it slept great!!!)



For lunch, I was excited to go meet Karen and Ginger for lunch. Unfortunately, Ginger wasn’t able to come. Apparently, there are some cases of meningitis being passed around. So, if people in Sav would just stop passing around germies and leave the health dept. alone…then they wouldn’t have messed up my lunch date w/ my friend…. the Health Dept’s Public Relations Goddess!! (Someone’s gotta do it, right Ginger?!)


Despite the loss of Ginger, Karen and I enjoyed a nice lunch at Chili's Bar and Grill....
and we much enjoyed the flirting our cutie waiter gave us!! (and yes, he got a nice tip!!) Anyway, it was nice to catch up with the latest on her family and give her a great big hug! (For the record, I was good this time….I had a low-cal salmon, steamed veggies and a side salad!)



When we were thru, I dropped her off to her next interview/shoot, which was at….the health department! So, I was able to go up with her and get a big hug from Ginger! And it was really nice to see her!!



(Big Daddy misses both of these girls, very much. Along with some other previous employees including another girl who now lives elsewhere in Georgia….a certain, NV!!)



After lunch, I could wait no longer….I was off to see Savannah Scrapbooking’s * new * location! You see, they moved back in the Spring and Jamie has a rockin’ new store! So, I went to drop off my stuff for the crop and to check it out.


When I saw Jamie, she gave me a great big hug….and she’s not a hugger!! She even got tears in her eyes…and it touched me so much! She was very sweet, complimenting me and loving me up! I was so happy to see her! I’m here to tell you…this woman has a heart of gold and believe me, people like this can be hard to find in this mean ol’ world!! So, if you find one, you better hang on to them!!


So, I picked my spot or the “big dog chair”, as Jamie used to call it, and got my scrapbooking stuff settled in. And I much enjoyed looking around at the beautiful new store. Although, much had changed, it sure felt very familiar and comfortable to me. And based on all the awesome product she has....I knew I'd be going home with a little less money in my pocket!!!!


I went back to Sherry’s and we changed and got ready to go. (Normally, I wouldn’t change to go to a crop, but since the temperature w/ heat index was like 119 degrees on Friday, I felt it might be a good idea to start out afresh!!


For dinner we went to Chick-Fil-A drive-thru, which we often did on crop night. That was a splurge for me! But, within my WW points. And I much enjoyed every single bite!!

Here's me outside the new store....sheesh, now
I look like a tourist!!!!


The crop room was oversold….and I was flattered!
(although, I know not everyone even knew me....I hugged the old friends and new friends, alike!) But, it was a large percentage of all my croppers…although, a few were missing! Where oh where were Joy, Stacia, Angela M, Trish R and some others? (Deiha and Jill came to crop on Sunday...so since they live in South Carolina.....that's where they were....) I missed Beth H, but I knew she was moving this weekend, but I missed her anyway!!!


I got to see and hug….Amber, Christy, Trisha, my PEMBROKE GIRLS (except Brandi…missed ya girl!!,) Angelica, Hunter's Grandma (ha ha, couldn't resist!) Veronica, Peirinna and Amanda J. (Sherry, too, of course!!) And I met a bunch of new friends, as well! All in all, I think we ended up with a group of 18 and it was AWESOME!!!! It was the night of boob jokes....
and that was funny, too!


Of course, we went home and stayed up way too late again, laughing and talking, but it was well worth the sleep deprivation!!


Some Fantastic Friday Crop Pics:

I hope to crop again w/ you guys....soon.....


On Saturday morning, we got a late start. Or rather, we just took our time getting around. When Sherry and I finally left for the day, it was around 2pm. We decided to go get Mexican for lunch and we settled on Jalapeno’s! Yum Yum! (yep, here comes another splurge……)
Chips.
Salsa.
Chimichanga.

Need I say more?

It was delicious!!!!



Anyway, on our way into the restaurant, we notice a new business next to Jalapeno’s. The business is a Tattoo Place! I teasingly asked Sherry if she wanted to get a tattoo. She emphatically insisted that SHE DID NOT!! So, we ate our yummy lunch and continued to talk a little about the tattoo place.

I told her I’d been wanting to get another one, but had chickened out. She wanted to know if it hurt. How could I best explain this? Well….I came up with this…..well, tattoos are not licked on by kittens, so yeah, it hurts. But, it’s not as bad as labor…. She found this to be hilarious! So, I said, “ Come on, If I can do it, you can do it!” To which, Sherry replies, “Nope!”


So, we finish lunch, pay the bill and leave. As we walk by the door of the tattoo place the conversation goes like this:

Me: Hey, ya wanna get a tattoo now?

Sherry: Ummmm….NO!

Me: Ya wanna go look around at what they have?

Sherry: Ummm….ok….but I am not getting one.

Me: Ok, let just go look.

Here is the sign for the Enigmatic Tattoo Company.
The place the will permanently change us forever.


And we go in.


And within 5 minutes of looking, Sherry has picked out a design she likes and is talking to the tattoo artist about it. Then he goes to draw it out so she can see how it will look.


Here I am while we wait on the artist to draw the and talking to Amber, letting her know we will be late to the crop.


When he's finished, I am surprised how big the sketch is. The sketch is a little big for a 1st timer, so I let Sherry think about it and come to that decision on her own. (I would have told her before she was in the chair…..I just didn’t want to influence her about something that's permanent.)


Meanwhile, I pick out my own design, which Sherry likes even better when she sees it. So, she asks if I mind if she gets the same one. And of course, I don’t mind.


So, the next thing I know, Sherry is signing the waivers and getting prepped for the tattoo! She wanted to go first.


She did really great, but really suffered quite a bit of pain on one side of her back. She was biting her leg, digging her nails into the table and even said a few colorful words. (I’ll leave them to your imagination to protect the tortured!) I actually felt really bad that she was in so much pain. I kept asking her if she was ok. She's a trooper and she insisted she was just fine.....)

Sherry and Roxann, still smiling in the tattoo room!



Then, it was my turn.



So, I signed the papers and got prepped for my tattoo. I’ll admit it, I was scared. I got my last tattoo 8 years ago and I’m sure my exact memory of what it felt like is seriously lessoned.


But, I've had my last 2 kids with NO epidural...
so I can handle this, right?!?!



Once I got in the chair, I was honestly freaking out a little. You see, I have a serious phobia of needles. (I know, I know....then why would I even consider getting a tattoo ever, let alone, twice?!) Well, the short answer is….Big Daddy thinks it’s hot. I did it both times to surprise him. And honestly, I think they are cool, as long as the tattoo can be hidden when I want it to be.

First, they have to get all the ink colors ready and prep you for the tattoo. Prepping includes having your back shaved and your skin sanitized. It doesn't hurt, but it does burn a little.


Then, they place the stencil.
Yep, I turned into a human coloring book!


Here's me looking awesome before he starts tattooing me...
don't I totally look like a bad a$$ to you?!


So, as they are getting started, I am seriously freaking out. Once he touches the needles to my back, I start breathing hard. At first I was doing pretty good, but that outlining was just plain evil! And as he approached my spine, the pain was seriously horrid! In fact, because the pain is almost completely continuous with no break, I think it may actually be .....
worse than labor!!!

Sorry, Sherry!


Anyway, as he neared right on the spine with the black outlining… I was in major pain. All of a sudden, I started really trying to control my breathing….which turned into me holding my breath. Ummm….that’s a bad idea. I started feeling reallllly weird. I was dizzy, nauseated and disoriented. It seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. And then, it sounded like everyone talking was down in a bucket. I became panicked and scared. I thought something had gone wrong and
I thought I was dying.
Seriously.


(Drama Queen…of course, that’s the tattoo I wanted, but they didn’t have a crown….)


It appears what had happened was that I was trying to deal with the pain, that instead of trying to “control” my breathing to help deal with the pain…..I may have stopped breathing completely…like holding my breath because it hurt so bad.

I guess sometime during this stressful moment, I must have sorta “checked out” because I said a few things I have no memory of saying. For instance, I told him to STOP and announced I was DONE with this tattoo. Ha….I only had half of the outline of a 6 inch tattoo!!! (Sherry was freaking out when I said that!)


The guy quickly grabbed me a ginger ale and told me to drink it. Because it turns out, as a diabetic (if I actually am one) extreme stress and pain can cause large fluctuations in blood sugar, which could also be part of what happened. Who knows…. All I know, for me (and Sherry, too) it was super scary!!!!

So, thru the rest of the tattoo, I was screaming for a large part of it. It was so painful. But I kept trying to make jokes about it because that somehow made it hurt less. At one time when he was doing my spine, I screamed, “That was SO wrong in so many ways!!” And it really was!!
I mean....look at my back.........OUCH!!!!


So, here it is, in all it's *awesomeness*:

MY NEW TATTOO!



Here I am getting dressed after it was finished.
So proud of myself....

So, this whole thing has convinced me that it will probably be a while before I attempt to get another tattoo. (maybe that’s why it’s been 8 years since my last one….and my last one was a cake walk compared to this one….)

Here, Sherry and I are with our tattoo artist.... Nice chops and stretched out earlobes! That's what I'm getting next time. NOT!!


By this time we were late for my crop party. So, that sucked.



And everyone could not believe what we had done! It was hilarious!!! For the first hour we were there, I was still feeling quite strange, but it eventually went away.


The crop party was just like they always were, except instead of only store employees, we had some special guests that I had invited to be there. And it was super fun!!!!


{Tiffany and my sweetie, Michelle}


We had hilarious conversation and I have never been so happy to be with a group of women! These girls are all fantastic!! I only wish I could have invited every single person I miss from Savannah....


Have you ever watched Sex in the City? Well, in many ways this crop reminds me of the women in that show. We are good friends who feel free to discuss just about anything. And at times, it can get over the top with the conversation, but it also extremely hilarious. We laugh until we cry and from time to time, it is confessed that someone unnamed may or may not have tinkled in her pants.



I have never learned as many things as I have at these crops. Seriously, am I that naive? I guess so!
(No comments necessary from you about that, Big Daddy!)

But, we also have serious conversation, too.
And I love that!
And I love these girls!
I miss them!!!


And we cropped the night away, too! Bonus!!!


(For the record, I did not eat the pizza they ordered while we were late getting tattoos. Sherry and I went to Subway!)



Here are the supplies we had to get during the crop for "tattoo care." And believe me....we take this very seriously.

We followed their written instructions to a tee! We didn't want our backs to rot and fall off......that would be bad! So, Sherry and I had to cleanse and rebandage our tattoos while at the crop. And of course, we could count on our friends to give us a hard time while we were doing it.....

Here we are laughing at some inappropriate jokes being made about our "tattoo care" by our friends. You big turds!!

Big squeezes for my Tiffany!!!

Me and my Stacy!

Stacy is hilarious! And she gets the award for funniest comment, the comment that made as laugh till we cried.

(see 2 strange pics above!!)


Then on Sunday, Sherry and I had to unbandage and “air out” our tattoos. So, that’s what we did. Well, until Doug called and told us to meet him and the boys at the new restaurant in Richmond Hill. It’s called Beef O’Brady’s. It was really good, although not so good for my diet. But, I enjoyed it nonetheless.


Then, we hung out Sunday afternoon until Kristine’s wedding shower at 6pm. It was an “Around the Clock” shower, so everyone was assigned a different time. Sherry and I had 1 o’clock and 2 o’clock. So, of course we got some “sexy” gifts, which I will leave to your imagination to protect the innocent!!!
But I will tell you….
they were gooooood!!!!

Hilarious!!!!

***I have more pics, I'm just waiting to get them from various people......more to follow soon!***


Monday morning Sherry and I hung out. I was packing everything up to go. This made me soooo sad!!!


At about noon, I went to Amber’s house. Amber and I were catching up. She took some photos of me. Then, we scrapbooked the rest of the afternoon away. Amber is just so talented. She really inspires me….Isn't she awesome?!?!


So, about 6pm we went to the airport.


Everything was fine until I got onto the airplane, which for the record was a little late. Now, believe me, I have nothing against children. I have four. But you can bet your a$$ that on an airplane my children will be the most well-behaved children you've ever seen! You won't even know they are there!


But, I was sitting behind of a woman who had 3 children. The boy was about 5, a girl about 3 and another baby girl about 19 months or so. And because the plane was empty, she let them move across the aisle to sit by themselves, while she sat in front of me with the baby. But these children were all acting crazy and misbehaving. They were up and down and moving all around. They would not keep their seatbelts on. They were screaming. Yes, screaming. And we haven’t even moved from the gate yet. And the mother, just looks at them and quietly says, "Stop." With a half-grin on her face.


Um....yea....like that's gonna work! NOT!!!


The next thing I know, the 3 year old girl throws up everywhere. No warning. Just everywhere, just as we were moving away from the gate. The mother doesn’t do anything, but throw a pile of wipes to the older brother and tells him to clean up the sister. (of course, you know where this is going…..) So, the boy protests, but she tells him to clean up sister anyway. Then, he announces he’s gonna puke. So, I grab a barf bag out of the seat pocket in front of me and hand it to the mother. She hands it to the boy and tells him to throw up in it. Which he immediately does. And I got the first row show to that one. Darn it! The mother did NOTHING!!!
I felt sorry for him, but gross!


Within minutes we are in the air and the barf bag is sitting next to him on the seat. (remember the mom did NOTHING to help) So, I was just waiting for him to knock it over! Anyway, within minutes these two children are kicking the chairs in front of them, unbuckled again and the little girl is now standing straight up in her seat! The boy gets tired of sitting with the vomit, so he puts the bag on the floor. It REEKS in our plane!! The bag is sitting on the floor just waiting to be kicked over. I was so angry about the behavior of these kids. Then, when the mother gave them both some crappy junk food cinnamon rolls to shut them up….that was it. I had enough. I told the girl sitting across from me to pick up her bags before he knocks over the vomit onto all her things. She was sick from smelling the vomit, too. We were in hell!


The little girl started crawling around on the floor. Yes, on the floor! And the mother thought it was funny. I had enough! I got up and I marched back to the flight attendants and insisted they do something. I felt sorry for them and I told them so. But, they had to do something. They did. They went up there. Helped clean up things. Got the kids in their chairs and buckled (not that it worked for long) and moved all of us who had been tortured for way too long! It was awful!!! I never did get that smell out of my nose!


Now, these kids were naughty, don't get me wrong, but it's not their fault. It's this mother's fault. These children have very little, if any, discipline. They don't meet the expectations of their mother, because they aren't expected to. And from what I saw, she wasn't much of a "mother." It's HER fault, not the kids. But, the kids did know better. Especially the oldest one. And they refused to listen to the flight attendents either. Perhaps if the flight attendents were sitting where I was, they would have kicked them off the flight.... Who knows? But it was certainly annoying to pay for a "getaway" without my children only to be faced w/ these kids! Oh, joy!


We were late arriving in Atlanta, so I had to run from the end of one concourse to the other, trying to keep the computer from hitting me in the back where my tattoo is. Once I make the long run and grab some “unhealthy” dinner, I find out my flight is delayed. Bummer! I hate that. They are doing a repair on the front lavatory of the plane, so I figure that better get fixed before we take off on this oversold flight! It was miserable, only because it was so full!! The kind of full where you are trying to stay out of the lap of the person sitting next to you. Uck!


We finally arrive in Kansas City about 15 minutes late. It was a pain, because Michele was driving around waiting on me.


I went to baggage claim and waited for like 25 minutes, only to have ONE of my suitcases. Thank goodness it was my scrapbook bag...otherwise I'd be seriously angered! Clothes I can replace. Pictures and my scrapbooking, I can't. My big suitcase was missing, along with the suitcases of 100 or so other people. We all ran to the Delta office to figure out what to do. I was so angry! This flight was late and they didn’t get all our luggage on the plane?! At this rate, I’d be in this line for hours. After almost 10 minutes in line, a worker comes up from the tar-mac and says they have more luggage from the Atlanta flight. Thank goodness! The luggage belt started up again and low and behold, my bag was about the 10th one up. I was so glad to not have to deal with a lost bag!!


So, Michele and I head on to her house. Then, I started to head on home. I got home at just a few minutes before 2am.
And I was/am exhausted!

HOLY MOLY....

I'LL BE IN SAVANNAH TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!

Realllllly struggling.....

...with this darn diet this week!!!


I don't know what my problem is, but I am reallllly having a hard time. I don't know if it's the anticipation of Savannah and traveling alone (which I don't really like doing. I like to fly, but I don't like being alone. I prefer being w/ Big Daddy.) I guess that is probably it. Whenever I go on vacay, I always sorta stress getting ready.....


I think part of it is guilt. I am really happy I get to go to Savannah...it was an AWESOME birthday gift from Big Daddy....but I feel guilty because he doesn't get to go. I mean, yes, I deserve a trip, but so does he. And I feel bad he isn't going. I wish he could go with me....although, he'd be so super bored while I was busy cropping!!!


Anyway, Big Daddy is getting thrown into full-time parenting, sorta a baptism by fire!!! This will be the first time he's been on his own for a long period of time. Remember I'll be gone for 6 days and 5 nights!!!!!!!! Wow! I hope he's ready for this challenge!!!!


Well, I'm off to start packing......

Self-Portrait Tuesday

So, here it is. My Elsie wanna-be photo. Not bad for a first try.....


THE countdown continues....2 days till SAVANNAH!

Need I say more?!?!?!



I am completely insane. I did 9 loads of laundry yesterday and folded and put every bit of it away! I still have 7 more loads to do today. I HATE LAUNDRY!!!! But, I love having my laundry room...I am so happy to have an actual room, where I have space to move. I have a place I can put laundry baskets. I have a folding table (which comes out to double as cropping space for my friends~~so, come on over and we'll crop the day away!!!! Who cares about this laundry, anyway?!?!!)


Man I was blinded by cropping thoughts...... so, the space is so cavelike because it's an "unfinished" room. I hate it! I keep telling Ike I am going to paint it pink. And one of these days....I'm going to!!!!


Anyway, I'm trying to get the laundry completely done before I leave. And I'm trying to get food for while I'm gone, along with some menus for Big Daddy. This will help him curb the temptation to eat out for every meal!! That's just tooooo expensive!!


And I haven't even begun to pre-plan pages, etc. for scrapbooking, so I have a lot to do!


To top it all off, this is Ike's first day off that isn't a holiday, so we are first off to the DMV to get our cars inspected, new driver's licenses and our car tags (which are currently 3 months overdue....don't tell the state of KS!)


I'm off....have a great day!!!

Weight Watchers Update....

I lost 2 more pounds....

...bringing the total to 12.6 pounds!!!

This time next week, I'll be in...


~~SAVANNAH~~


AND I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

PICTURES

of my new *hairdo*


I really like it, I really do. But, it would help if I wasn't so blow-dryer impaired. Seriously, I suck at it. But, I am trying to get better.


The only thing that bugs me is that it takes me 2x as long to get out the door. And for the girl who is ALWAYS late....that IS NOT a good thing. Trust me on that one!


But, for now, I like it.....
...what do you guys think???

Yep, I'm still here....

So, I am seriously a bad Blogger these days.....


.....I guess I am just feeling a little overwhelmed in general. I had a hard time getting back into our routine after going to Tulsa for my Class Reunion. I don't know why. I guess I came home tired, overwhelmed and then having to deal w/ the therapist and the stress of that really got to me. I guess I've been in a little bit of a funk.


So, last weekend was real busy. On Saturday morning I went to "weigh-in" at WW. I know you probably assumed it was bad since I didn't mention it. I know it was going to be sketchy since I had eaten what I wanted at the reunion, then I had 2 slices of pizza very late at night. Not the best WW choice, but I was hungry, so I ate it. But, then I was right back on my diet. So, the weigh-in was OK. I was the SAME. I just maintained....and I was perfectly happy with that. At least it wasn't a gain!!!


Then, on Saturday afternoon, Big Daddy took our oldest to his tv stations' "Shred-A-Thon." (This is where they have a well-known shredding company donate their services and viewers can bring sensitive documents of any amount to be shredded.) Anyway, it was sunny, humid and hot and we brought he and L lunch. Then, we stayed and helped him for 5 hours. The kids were perfect! It was a lot of work, but myself and the older boys were able to pitch in and daddy wasn't lonely!
All-in-all, it wasn't too bad! A bit hot, but still not too bad.
But, we came home exhausted!!!!

We spent all Sunday indoors because it rained all day. But, we really needed it!


So, Monday, I went to see the new Psychiatrist. It was almost too much for me. And I came home feeling emotionally and even physically drained. The jury is still out on how I feel about her. I will see her again next week and that should help me decide.


Then, Tuesday, it was back to the original therapist. It went more smoothly this week, but she can still sense that I am a little uneasy. I'm still really glad I didn't back down and I feel good I stood up for myself and big daddy. So, anyway, we made some more progress and I confessed a few other big issues I'd been mulling to her. I felt better, but I am just so tired of dealing with all this crap. So tired of it. So, again, I came home emotionally and physically exhausted.


I am glad I am doing the therapy, but sometimes it feels like it would be easier just to walk away. But, in reality, I know that isn't the case!!! I need to be there.


And it has been raining for 3 days, ruining our swimming time (and my exercising.) So, that's been making me in a bad mood. It was clear today, and plenty hot and humid. But, J had a migraine today....so no pool again.


Tomorrow I have to go enroll the kids in school, along with the parents of 350 other students.....so, that ought to be real FUN! NOT!!!! Then, we have swim lessons.


Why is summer so busy???


Friday is filled with getting Griffin a physical for Pre-K. And then getting all his paperwork and the check for tuition to his new school. Eeek! So much to do!!!


I promise to try to blog a little more regular!!!!

Therapy update....

So, while I was in Tulsa, the therapist called my house. She said she had not returned my hubby's phone call because she did not have a signed release from me that she could speak to him about me. Well, that's all good and fine, but she also didn't even bother to return his call and tell him that and find out what he even wanted....because he called to apologize, not talk about me. So, I think that was a big "cop out."
But, whatever!


But in her message, she said, "I have you penciled in for next week and I'm willing to talk to you."


Well, honestly, I didn't know how to interpret this.


First, she had said she wouldn't see me until school started and now she has me penciled in at my normal time. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go or not. (as I previously discussed here)


So, after much thought...I decided to go. But, it took me until right up to the last minute. In fact, I almost chickened out a few times and didn't go. I just didn't want to have to deal with it. But, I decided I better do it. So, I went.


I was so nervous, I was panicked. I had no idea what she'd say or what I'd say, but I knew I was still angry with how she had treated me....when what happened was out of my control!


So, I walked right in and I said, "Well, I was very surprised to hear you had me penciled in for today."


And, she actually looked surprised.


I don't know if it was that she had forgotten what she had originally said or if she was surprised I was standing up for myself. After all, one of the big issues we have been dealing with is in regard to my inability to stand up to my mother-in-law for all these years.


So, I guess thru my anger with her and my trust in her broken, I felt like I had nothing to lose. So, I said what I really wanted to say..... (have you noticed I am doing this alot lately???)


I told her that I could not control what happened. I also told her that I could not guarantee that it won't happen again. I told her, in the news business, it's always unpredictable. And if something happens, such as a plane crash or severe weather....Big Daddy will be at work and I will be at home with the kids. And it will be a last minute change that neither he, nor I can control.


I told her to charge us for the missed appointments if she likes. (to which she responded, well, I won't this time since we had not previously discussed it.)


Well, I said, "Charge us if you wish."
(seriously, don't do me any favors that you'll hold over my head at a later time......)


I told her to quit asking us to get a babysitter every week, because it is not going to happen.


I told her that I knew people probably try to bs her every day.....but I wasn't one of them. I am committed to therapy. And my husband is committed to getting me there. She questions my hubby's commitment to my therapy. But, she's wrong. He's behind me 110%.


And then I told her that I did not appreciate her "tough love" approach and that she had hurt my feelings. I said, "I'm a girl with trust issues and by hurting me, I didn't know if I could continue to trust her." I told her that in response to what had happened that I went into a panic in regard to my therapy with her, because I felt like things had been progressing so well, I was very frustrated and panicked that I had disappointed her. I also felt that now I didn't know if we could move past all this mess and trust her again not to hurt me. I felt she had given me a "verbal spanking" because I was a "bad girl." Isn't that just weird?! But, that's how I felt.


I was really proud of myself for not backing down.


She was shocked to hear how strongly I had reacted to what had happened. (See, she still doesn't really know me at all!! Anyone that knows me KNOWS that I generally have strong reactions to situations like this!! Read: Drama Queen!!)


Well, I eventually agreed to try to work it out. I don't want to run away at the smallest little bump in the road.
And I think she understands a bit better where I am coming from.............maybe............


And, in this little town....it's not that easy to just "find a new therapist." But, I'll tell you, this is her 2nd chance with me. And if it doesn't go well, there will not be a 3rd chance.


What pi$$es me off the most...is I had to PAY for 1/2 and hour of therapy just to deal with what happened!
I definitely think you should have to PAY for dealing w/ crap that the therapist caused!!!!


Oh, well. It was clear when we tried to move on to something else, that I was having trouble trusting her. I was not open like I usually am. I was having trouble talking about things. It sucked. And I hope it gets better. Very soon.